I didn't think I'd ever post a thread in here, but now I need your help. If you haven't noticed, my gender tag has changed. I identify as male solely because of my parts and nothing else. I don't know what male or female are supposed to feel like, as they say that gender is how you feel. Maybe it's because I'm not a stereotypical "macho" male, but yet I don't feel any anger at my body other than that I think it's unattractive. They say that gender is all in your head, and I'm not entirely certain what's in my head anymore. I brought this up once at an LGBT meeting on my school's campus last year and got told that I'm overthinking it and that I can't be anything but male because of the way I dress. :eek: I don't get it. How am I supposed to feel? I mean, it's not like seeing a picture of male and female anatomy and just looking down and matching the two up to determine whether you're male or female. The point I'm making is that we know what bio male and female are supposed to look like, so if you look like that picture, then you're a bio male or female. You've got something to go off of. But I have no idea what male or female are supposed to feel like, so how do I know if I'm male or female? You know what I mean? I'd never given much thought to this before.
Well I'm not trying to label you since I don't know how you're feeling but you can be male and not fit in with macho masculine stereotypes. I'm not macho but I still identify as male. For me I knew I was male because I feel like I was supposed to be born physically male and it feels uncomfortable to be physically female, and because I want to be addressed with a male name and pronouns because it feels more comfortable. I just feel like I was meant to be born a guy, if that makes any sense? I'm not sure if this helped at all sorry. Also saying that you have to be a certain gender based on how you dress is ridiculous and not true.
Thanks for the reply, Acm. As for pronouns and the like, he/him/his really doesn't bother me because it's what I've been called my whole life. Maybe I'm just male and very non-stereotypical. I know for certain that I'm not female, but I just don't feel male either. I honestly think my personality would be the same whether I had a penis or a vagina, that it wouldn't make that much a difference.
My gender expression is between feminine and androgynous, actually, yet I feel very, very manly. It's a good question - what really makes us feel male? What makes us feel female? I have no idea, although Acm said my thoughts. Although, some non-binary people actually use masculine or feminine pronouns. It's really on how you want to be called. If you decide you're agender, yet you don't mind being referred to with masculine pronouns, it doesn't make you any less agender. However, I'm neither agender nor non-binary, so I can't really help you with that. Good luck.
Thanks for the input everyone. I was kind of off-put by my experience at school where apparently according to them I need to dress with both male and female clothes to be considered anything other than male or female.
Well, that's quite... inaccurate. Seriously, just wear what you want. Wear pink panties on your head, if that's what you desire.
They shouldn't have said that to you at your school. That's bullshit, close-minded and flat out wrong. Clothing does not make a man or woman or any other gender, just like genitals don't either. But if you're not uncomfortable with the idea of being the gender you've always identified as, that's okay. Being different than "other guys" (read: the completely contrived stereotype of what a man should be) doesn't necessarily mean that you're not one. Not that I'm trying to invalidate your confusion or your feelings about your own gender. Only you can decide how you identify and only you can say what makes you feel like you, obviously. I can understand that it's extremely difficult to figure out where your gender is (for lack of a better way of putting it) but really the important part is being as true to yourself and doing whatever you need to do to feel good about it.
While I personally do that, it's ridiculous to act like that's a necessary component. I know a genderqueer person who dresses in preppy male clothes, but they are still genderqueer.
