This is like half gender related, half coming out related. Basically I'm in the process of questioning my gender and considering transition. One of the things that's stopping me is how such a change would affect others. I just got done testing the waters with a relative who said they'd actually care if was gay/bi (as opposed to writing it off/being completely ok with it). My family I'd like to think is pretty liberal but now I know coming out as not straight or as transgender could potentially impact them more than I realized. With my parents, it's the standard, "what have we done wrong?" and stuff like that. Not to be self-centered, but I just imagine if I go through with this, it'll be a lot of restless, worrisome nights for not only myself, but others as well, and I wouldn't want that. I guess I don't know how well they'd be able to handle it, and I don't want to discredit them, I just worry you know, enough to wear it's a serious roadblock. I guess to take this leap you have to exercise some amount of selfishness, but to what degree? I don't think I'll be ostracized or abandoned, but seeing everyone else's reactions is making me second guess myself.
That's the main thing holding me back too. I don't really have any good advice unfortunately, but I know how you feel
I can understand why you dont wanna tell them but, we all have to be alittle selfish sometimes and you cant live your life based around someone else's opinion of you
It's not selfish to take care of yourself and be who you are. No one else can or will do those things better than you, yourself. It's silly and a little sad for someone to completely deny parts of themselves just to allow those around them to be comfortable. You deserve better than that, and that's not selfishness, it's just something we should all be able to do--be ourselves. You're right that coming out and transitioning could cause a bit of a stir in your family. Sure. I don't think anyone will argue that that's never the case. It certainly could be. And other people are allowed to have feelings about it and process this new information about you, but if you think that you are responsible for the way that they handle your coming out, you're mistaken. That's not actually about you and it's not your job to worry about it. It's theirs. I don't mean that harshly at all. I understand what it's like to feel like you might burden those you care about with something, but I still stand by the fact that it shouldn't be a burden to grow and change in the way that you feel you need to to be happy.
