Am I really trans?

Um. So I grew up thinking I was 100%, irrevocably female, but in the past 6 months (give or take a few), I have been in a crisis of sorts. I wish I could say I wish I was a boy and be done with it, but sadly it is much more complicated than that. I have been struggling with different concepts of gender, dysphoria, and (for lack of a better term) general trans-ness. For the most part, I think I may feel relatively androgynous with definite masculine leanings. But sometimes I get in these episodes where I need to be a boy and everything feels wrong and I can't breathe. I'm not even sure how my dysphoria manifests itself, or if it's even there. It's mostly secondary sex characteristics that give me trouble, like the roundness of my face or how skinny my arms are. So far, I have been blessed with very small breasts and no hips whatsoever, but I would still love to buy a binder as sports bras are not really cutting it anymore. I know when it's written out like this, it seems pretty apparent as to where my identity lies, but I'm still unsure. While I know it's different in everyone, I can't help but doubt myself when most of the trans people I know have pretty debilitating dysphoria while mine isn't that severe most of the time. I usually like it when people have a hard time figuring out my gender, and like to keep a pretty androgynous appearance usually. But sometimes I still tend to use my femininity as both a mask and a safety blanket. I feel that people find me more attractive when I wear makeup and feminine clothes, even if I personally hate doing it. But my social problems are a different story. Sometimes I consider wanting to start HRT, but frankly I'm scared. I'm scared of how it would change me and I don't even want to look too manly anyway. Certainly, I'd love to have a somewhat deeper voice and be able to gain muscle and to have a squarer jaw and most of the things that come with testosterone, but. But. I just don't know. I'd really love to see a therapist to try to work some of these things out, but that (along with transitioning) raises a whole new issue. I have been accepted to an all girls' school. If you have ever dealt with the massive clusterfuck that is a metropolitan public school system, you will know that being afforded the opportunity to go to a private school is really a godsend, at least where I live. I just don't know if I can handle going to school and wearing a skirt and getting called a girl more than I already do. If I came out as whatever I am/transitioned, I would have to leave the school, and at this point the only way to do that would be to give the school a years' worth of tuition, which my family could never afford (I was afforded a large scholarship). But school is another, very long story. Please excuse me for going off on a huge tangent, but I am just asking for any help/advice anyone could possibly give. Thank you very much for reading this.