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feeling like a women/man

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by jaska, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. jaska

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    new zealand
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    do any of you guys feel like this? i find I have to make a really conscious effort to act more masculine to be content with myself. Even though I am male, I feel less of a man when i act myself and I get extremely depressed and self hating. I don't even know if it's a voice dysphoria thing or i haven't accepted myself completely yet? Most of my friends are girls, and I have to try to be more masculine than them or I feel like one of them and i
    hate feeling like that. Sometimes I think this means I'm not trans? I'm a pretty feminine guy, and my friends are pretty masculine gals, so it's kind of a perfect balance i guess.
    I don't even know if this feeling will go away if I transition either, and that's scary, cos i won't ever be comfortable being myself.
    I've heard a lot of trans guys saying they like hanging out with their girl friends, because their masculinity seems more obvious then. This feeling has actually gotten so much that I'm trying to pull away from my friends, because it triggers doubts and I feel like shit around them. I think I would be happier having no friends at all, my only hope is transitioning.:bang:
     
  2. Damien

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Australia.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi jaska,

    I think I can relate...anyway my own perspective: a few months ago I finally 'allowed' myself to fantasize about guys, after many years of denial. It became something of a tidal wave of desire. But lately, something new emerged; sometimes, in the throes of passion (I have not had a boyfriend as yet, but even on my own I can get pretty passionate, it's my nature) I can feel like I 'slip' into 'feminine mode' and it really gives me a kick to do this. It's tremendously satisfying. Despite this, I still love and enjoy having my male body, and don't feel the need to dress much differently, but sometimes I feel as though physically I am male, but that my soul is both male and female. Someone else called it being 'bigendered' and whether you can relate to this or not, I just thought I'd say that yes I do feel both 'masculine' and 'feminine'. (And since discovering that, sexually more liberated than ever before.)
     
  3. Akane

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    I can relate a bit.

    I have a female friend who is more masculine than I am. She hates her breasts and is the dominate one in the relationship but she only goes for cisgendered/sexual males.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable, even if she is dressing more feminine. And even though I think she is sexy when she is in masculine clothes, if I am feeling male, I feel a bit of a competitive side that I didn't know existed. Weird.

    Anyway, unfortunately, I don't really have any sort of advice for you, if you are a feminine guy then you are a feminine guy, there is nothing wrong with that, I know cisgendered men that sometimes feel down like you described when they don't have good or any self-esteem.

    Some females are masculine than most men, that is fine too, that is who they are, like my friend, she might be heterosexual but she basically still gets to "wear the pants" in the relationship all the time.