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Flip-flopping between transition decision

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Madgoddess, Jul 25, 2014.

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  1. Madgoddess

    Madgoddess
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Near Houston, Texas
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My friend seems to be having a hard time.

    They desire to be female, and were born with a penis.

    For a while, they picked out a name, and went by it, dressing feminine and making an effort to live as a female.

    Then my friend needed a job. Being in the Bible Belt of Texas, my friend had issues finding a job as a mtf. So, my friend began dressing masculine again, then began flat-out denying that part of themselves. My friend doesn't feel attracted to women, yet gets a girlfriend.

    Is this part of the process? I tell my friend all of the time, "I'm here for you, whatever you need, an ear, a shoulder, shopping buddy, whatever."

    I get shut out. Is this a normal thing for y friend to be going through? They're twenty, and still young. Life has been horrible to him. And I just want his happiness, you know?

    Can anyone weigh in on this?
     
    #1 Madgoddess, Jul 25, 2014
  2. Akane

    Akane
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Oklahoma/Kansas
    Yes, I can relate.

    For years, during my high school days, I didn't want to be gay but knew I was having as "issue" being attracted to females, but got a boyfriend every year or so...it was like a sick pattern...I didn't even like these guys anyway.

    Texas is about in the same boat as Oklahoma, where I was born and raised. Both states don't provide support or protection for lgbt peoples, especially trans* people.

    You can see why she had to go back dressing like her birth assigned gender right? It is easy to be frightened and scared and push people that care about you the most, away because you are scared, she is in the closet again and it will be years until Texas will provide any sort of equality for LGBTQ peoples, she will have to MOVE to a different state and start a new life, and that can be hard for most people. She will just have to come to a breaking point herself and move on her own terms.

    I hate seeing people living in misery from the confinements of their own prisons. There is no need to punish themselves, but everyone has a breaking point. Times are changing so hopefully his torment will end soon in this era.
     
    #2 Akane, Jul 26, 2014
  3. Auren

    Auren
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Mayor Parker just recently signed GLBT anti-discrimination in the workplace, but that doesn't mean they can enforce it yet. Yeah, it would be near impossible to find a decent job as a trans in the Houston area.

    Its important for you to be there for her, but really they probably just feel horrid because they feel forced to live as the wrong gender. Shopping isn't even fun if she has to go as a guy and can't even wear any clothes purchased in public.
     
    #3 Auren, Jul 27, 2014
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