so since I've been questioning myself I've been trying to act and dress more masculine to see how it felt. It felt kind of forced and I wasn't quite comftable, but wearing men's clothes was a turning point for me. I realised that all my life, wearing girls clothes had felt like crossdressing. But cos I'd never really had the chance to wear boys clothes I never realised this and just ignored the feeling. Also wearing dresses and stuff kinda turn me on, I guess in the same way a cross dresser might? But wearing women's clothes always felt wrong and weird and not right and I was always very self conscious and uncfortable wearing them. I've always been kinda girly, and this was confusing for me when I was questioning. Bit then I realised I could be femme, so I took that label. But now I'm getting really confused, I don't know if I'm actually femme or a transvestine or something else. I know that definitely fell more comftable and more myself when wearing men's clothing. BUT even though I love makeup and dresses and nail polish and stuff like that and I want to wear it, but it still feels very wrong and I would never want to wear anything than just a few earrings, or some eyeshadow in public, just cos it would make me too uncfortable and self conscious to actually wear girls clothes. But also I think I would be more comftable wearing women's clothes if I transitioned. I also like drag, and that is something I want to do some day? So I'm just really confused, cos I'm pretty sure femme transguys would feel like themselves dressing more femininely but I don't so I'm confuzzled by this. So any input or ideas of what this stuff might mean thou would be most pleased. thx
I feel similar sometimes. Though im usually more comfortable in mens clothing I do enjoy wearing more femme things from time to time, though it always feels like drag. The further along I get im my transition process the more interested I am in androgynous expression and genderfuck. I could only dress femme if I was seen as male though, right now if I wore femme clothes I would be read as female which makes me feel terrible. I still identify as transmasculine but have a more androgynous gender expression which im exploring more and more. Just remember that gender identity and gender expression are different things.