I have felt like I don't know who or what I am....I don't feeling like much of anything sometimes, I'm just floating on this planet as an outsider, like a foot trying to fit inside a glove, walking around without a purpose. I am greatly opposed to how closed minded people are in general, and don't view them in very high regard. I suppose the biggest difference between this being ordinary depression is that I have a sneaking suspicion this is all due to gender dysphoria. If I were to wear dresses, grow my hair out, and have a clearer outlet for my emotions- would I be a happier, and therefore more carefree human being? Would I be someone who isn't wrapped up in regrets? The hardest part of it all is that I don't have a single clue . If I knew with certainty that I would be better off as female than I would get the operation, but right now it's a shot in the dark. Thanks for all your support and sorry to sound so negative .
I've done it before- but every time I feel like I'm hiding, more so than I can reap the enjoyment out of it and the feelings from it. I'm living with people, and I'm too afraid/embarrassed to tell anyone.
It can be hard to figure things out when you are getting pulled multiple directions. Especially when there are negative feelings involved masking things. But when you are trying to figure yourself out, it is okay to keep it to yourself if it means being able to get in touch with yourself more easily. Nothing wrong with personal time to figure yourself out.
I appreciate that, I really do. But without the freedom to express myself and experiment, there are dark emotional clouds that hover over my being. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot figure out a way to make the sunlight burst through. Like you said, I'm wearing a mask, and I don't know how to remove it.
