I'm a biological female and can't stand dressing like one (Dresses, skirts, blouses, you name it, make me feel like everyone's staring at me and they never feel like they fit me right) Because of this I dress pretty neutral, and now I'm getting mistaken for a boy. This doesn't bother me, but all the expectations that come with how I dress are. My family wants me to be more feminine. My dad thinks that I should grow my hair out and my mom would love to throw me in a dress and teach me how to use makeup. My friends on the other hand practically have heart attacks when I show up to school in something other than long shorts and a tshirt or sweatshirt. I'm stuck in this stupid position where I feel like I have to dress a certain way depending on where I am and who I'm with, and I can't stand it. I'm really self conscious when it comes to how I look. I'm not vain or anything, I don't even put too much effort into how I dress. I just hate it because now I'm always worrying if I'm dressing correctly to match this one half of me that people want/have come to expect. I'll see all these clothes and things that I love, but then I'll think about what people at school will think of me, or if my mom will give me a funny look when I ask for it. For example, I have a winter jacket that I loved in the store, it's really comfortable and warm, but it's a mens jacket. I had to fight my mom to get it, and I'm too terrified to wear it to school because I'm afraid someone will comment on it. So it basically just sits in the closet and I go to school freezing in a sweatshirt all because I'm too concerned of what everyone else is thinking. I don't even know if anyone can offer advice for this kind of thing. I just really wish someone could help me understand why I'm so ashamed to be myself.
You answered your own question. "... why I'm so ashamed to be myself..." "... I'm too concerned of what everyone else is thinking." I have this problem too, unfortunately, except that I would jump at the opportunity to wear a men's jacket. Haha. Ha. :icon_redf Not quite sure what to tell you, but I think, before you can tackle the opinions of others, you'll need to tackle the opinions of yourself. Go in front of the mirror and stare at yourself. Accept that person as who you are - someone that can change, yet still be you. Once you understand that YOU are the only you can be, then you can start accepting yourself. Tell yourself it's fine to feel this way. Then, the feeling of feeling self-conscious should fade away. That's how I did it, anyway. I used to not be able to talk in public, but now I actually burst out into song and say really stupid insults (your thigh is so big it explodes; your cat and dog and fish hate your face; your hand can't fit in your butt) to my younger sibling... in a language I'm embarrassed to talk in. It's a really big improvement, but unfortunately, it takes time. I wish you the best of luck. (*hug*)
Although i know you don't like it. I still think people should try and come out of their "comfort zones" every now and again, because you may like it. For example, like me, me and my boyfriend are planning to go on holiday at the end of next month, money issues have struck and it looks like we can't go abroad. A holiday for me is beach, sun, swimming pools, hot weather, all inclusive, drinking ect... but yet we may just have to have a get away in our own country for about £500, hes suggesting we should try camping, i hate the idea of camping so much, but i'm going to try it because he enjoys it and i might actually like it in the end! So yeah. maybe try and put a dress on, just to see if you end up liking it, try different dresses, maybe grow your hair out a little? Dye it? HAVE FUN AND LIVE!
