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Really Confused

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by queenconfused, Jul 31, 2014.

  1. queenconfused

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Washington D.C.
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I am 25 years old and was born male. From the time I was about 6 or 7, I have always had lingering thoughts that I wasn't a guy and should be a girl. Since my Dad was in the U.S. Army until I was about 14, most of my childhood I was predominately raised by my mom. Throughout high school and my first 2 years of college, I have always been described as being extremely feminine in just about every way. Almost all of my friends were female and that would eventually lead to my nickname of Queen. The way I present myself, how I handle myself emotionally, and even my personality and mannerisms would seem completely normal for a woman but NEVER for a guy. I have tried (and still do when I can because I live at home still) dressing in woman's clothes because they make me feel "normal". Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with the shame of being the way I am (probably due to the fact that my parents are intolerant and would never support me if I told them).

    I am 100% sure that I am Bisexual and I have had several relationships with both men and women. The interesting thing here is that in all of my relationships, I am never the dominant person. Even when I am dreaming or fantasizing, I am and prefer to be submissive. I cannot remember the last time I had a dream where I visualize myself as a man either. I always dream as if I am a woman. Once in a while, I get flashes of masculinity but not for very long. Question time, what does everybody think? I am not sure if I am MTF but I have thought that I could be genderfluid (mostly female). If it matters, I just started seeing a therapist and had thought of bringing this up eventually. Thanks for reading my wall of text!
     
  2. idream

    idream Guest

    You sound mtf to me, but I'm pretty new at this. Unless the times you feel like a man and a woman seperately are about equal, I wouldn't say your gender is very fluid. Then again, you do say you feel masculine from time to time. I'd say definitely bring it up in therapy if you feel comfortable and you might get a more defined and accurate answer, and you would probably be better at explaining when in person with somebody. Good luck, queenconfused:slight_smile: