Hi, everyone. I don't really plan on having kids any time soon, but I'm at that age where I figure I'll want kids someday. It sucks because the surge of hormones that I get during my period ruins my life for a few days. I can't imagine 9 months of estrogen and bigger boobs and gaining weight. It's not like they make maternity clothes for men either. Anyway, while all that sucks, what I'm most worried about comes later. When the child gets older, they're going to start to notice that not every family has two dads, that, in fact, most families have a mom and a dad. They'll find out that babies are made with a male and a female. They might wonder who their mommy is or if they were adopted. Then we'll have to tell them. Then we'll have to explain to them that they don't have a mom. Yes, a female (that's me) gave birth to them, but that I'm not their mom because being female doesn't make me a woman. But what if they start calling me "mom" instead? Even worse, what about when we take the child to see our family? I know that if the child is calling both of us "dad" that it's going to raise a few eyebrows. There's just no winning. I'm starting to wonder if I should just not have kids and adopt or not even adopt and just not raise children. For those of you who are trans parents, how do you do it? Especially gay trans parents! How do you deal with these situations? Is it even a big deal when it comes up? And those of you who plan on having kids, what are your thoughts on this?
I don't think that that is ground that has been covered by a whole lot of people. Just have to take it in stride, be honest, and have faith that they will love and accept you for the wonderful father that you are.
kids are pretty open to everything, especially if you expose them to these things when they are young. they're used to constantly learning and experiencing new things, so explaining sexuality and gender is not too difficult. you could also look into surrogacy, if that is a viable option for you
I know several transparents (funny word). Don't let that question your wish to have kids. Small kids take it well. There can be troubles around their teenage years, but it also depends on how you bring them up. Some kids I know call their "transdad" Mom, others by his new name. The pregnancy (in the cases I know about) went well. The overload of estrogen does have an effect. I even know a man who is on HRT but plans to stop it to get pregnant and then start again - with his doctor's support.
