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Do I like to cross-dress or am I genderqueer?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Pizza Ruler, Aug 6, 2014.

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  1. Pizza Ruler

    Pizza Ruler
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Recently I begun to question my gender. I am a female, although I hardly ever feel like one. I tend to dress more boyish than most girls and I feel awful when I wear dresses. Some day I like to put on make-up but other days it feels like is shouldn't wear make, like it feels really unnatural. Recently I dressed up fully as a guy and bound my breast and everything and when I looked in the mirror I was so much happier and content looking at myself. It was a major confidence boost. I like looking like a guy and I would not mind using male pronouns also, but I like have breast and lady parts, just not all the time. I also would not want to take testerone or have surgery or anything like that. I'm just seriously wondering about my gender identity.
     
    #1 Pizza Ruler, Aug 6, 2014
  2. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    To be honest, only you can say whether you are anything.

    So, really. It's up to you. If you feel like you're a girl who just doesn't care to be feminine, then you are that. If you decide that genderqueer or gender fluid describes you better, then cool, no problem.

    Figuring out your preferred gender expression is different than your gender. You can be a girl who is masculine. You can be a guy who is feminine. You can be genderqueer and not present androgynously. Gender expression and gender identity are two different things. I know that seems like it makes everything more complicated in some ways, but you don't have to push yourself into a box based on what clothes you like, is all I'm saying.

    That being said, you sound pretty genderqueer to me. If you're considering different pronoun use, that says more about your internal gender than presentation does, in my opinion--which as I've said, no one's opinion really matters except yours. I just say that in case it's helpful, but if it's not, discard it entirely :slight_smile:
     
    #2 thedreamwatch, Aug 6, 2014
  3. Miss Emma

    Miss Emma Guest

    This is what I'd say as well. I'm MAAB (male assigned at birth) but have discovered that my more feminine proclivities are nothing to be dismissed but to be embraced as what makes me uniquely me.

    Upon discovering myself at this later point in life, I'd thought myself transsexual, as genderqueer was never something I'd even heard of, let alone thought real. However, my therapist (for bipolar disorder) helped me to realize that "feminine male" is real. And perfectly okay.

    That being said, I'd also discovered that I prefer the feminine (or neutral) pronouns to masculine. I'm not totally against them though(maybe due to having them Used my whole life). But I do present more feminine outside of work, and I mix dress at work. I EXCLUSIVELY wear misses skinny bootcut or flare jeans at work or out. Tees at work, misses tops out. My shoes are men's but very neutral looking (Doc Martens or classic low sneaks). I carry a purse, and wear a beard and a military style haircut.
     
    #3 Miss Emma, Aug 7, 2014
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