I've recently allowed myself to start thinking about transition more seriously. I've always known since a young age that I am not comfortable with being a woman and would have much preferred, or rather should have been born male. I've been binding and living vicariously through YouTube videos of transguys for years now. I find myself envious of the changes that testosterone gives them. Yet when it comes down to it, I find it difficult to see myself as and identify with men completely. I do not like or desire being identified with women, but honestly I find men kind of difficult to identify with as well. Is this something that comes with time? I find it hard to look in the mirror and know that I am a man. Is this because I don't look quite like one yet? How did you find self acceptance and peace?
It may take time, but you know, there is not only male and female as genders "available". The gender spectrum is huge. Some people feel as both male and female, some as neither, some feel like they are a third gender, and so on. No boundaries Here: The Gender Spectrum | Teaching Tolerance this is a good thing to read if you're interested
I feel the same way you do. While I don't identify as a woman, identifying flat-out as a man is not easy for me either. I think, for me at least, that I might not be a man. Just sort of more male than female. I feel like I should be male physically, and that socially, I should be read as male also. But it's hard for me to say that that makes me a man.
i find it kind of hard to identify with men as well, but I don't see that it changes my gender. I remind myself though, that I was brought up female, so that i don't have the same experience of boyhood most men do. hope that helps