Does it exist or we are always acting in a feminine and/or masculine way? I don't consider myself very feminine/masculine and being androgynous isn't exactly what I am looking for. I'd like to act or at least wear clothes in a way that it wouldn't look awkward for any of the females or males. Could this be described as a neutral gender expression or do I just want to be androgynous? For me, being androgynous means that you act in a feminine and masculine way at the same time and I'm not really sure if this includes dressing in a way that both men and women would without people thinking they're strange since I only heard that androgynous people are int the extremes of the feminine/masculine gender expression or 50/50 while what I actually want is to be in the middle. In a place where it wouldn't have preferece in such a way that neither a female nor a male would feel uncomfortable staying there, if that makes any sense anyway... :dry:
It makes sense. You have to develop a personal style themed around that concept, which is tricky. Without knowing more about how you look in real life it would be tough to give anything specific that might be useful... Body language is a part of this and so is the way you walk and talk, etc..
I preffer not to show my photos, but I can tell you that I have a body that can be easily read as female. I think that the only thing that can be seen as masculine is the amount of body hair in it(a few people also told me that I had a mustache, but it's almost invisible and I don't really mind it there). Not sure if it help with anything. Yeah, I know how body language is important and I'd like to change a few things about my behaviors because they make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. Of course I don't want to change the person I really am, I'd just like to know if there are any clothes and manneirisms that could be used by both females and males without it looking awkward for any of those, so them I could adopt this "neutral gender expression". Sometimes I even wonder if that's really necessary since I have a natural lack of femaleness(not as much as I lack maleness though).
Hi, I am new here, but noticing your post, I have been looking into this myself. Perhaps what you are looking for is "Agender". I myself do not feel as though I am bound to either gender, and would rather live without a gender, however Agenders can also identify that they are fine with being either a man or a woman. I am a woman myself, and I don't mind. Personally, though, I would prefer not having boobs. They are not functional to me, and it does feel like they confine the world view that I am a female/woman/lady. I get called a lady a lot, which is a nice comment as I am pretty, but it doesn't feel right to me.
I'm suspecting that I am agender, not only because of the way I'd like to present myself, but also because I relate a lot with the other agender people's perception of themselves and society. I'm still not sure if I should label myself as agender though. People say that gender expression is not the same thing as gender identity and being aware that most people don't even believe non-binary identities exist makes me afraid of identifying myself as agender. I'm doing some more research about it, but I couldn't get as much information as I'd like to have yet.
I can relate, I don't believe my mother will take me seriously now that I've figured it out. I have always been philosophical about things, so I assumed my way of accepting my body, but not seeing myself bound to my physical gender, was not really something to consider as not identifying myself as either gender. However, I have come to the conclusion of Agender because I really don't connect with my physical gender, and even don't want to be referred to as labels such as lady or woman. I never felt like being referred to as "woman" defined who I was. So much so that I dismissed being like a woman or a lady, but couldn't relate to being a male or tomboy. Even though I was always a bit of a tomboy, I never felt like I wasn't who I was, but yet did not connect myself to "lady". I did, however, take "lady" as a compliment, because it's something applied to beautiful/pretty women, and I do love my beauty, but not as a woman or female. I can speak to certain people fine, but I can't stand a lot of guys or girls because I can't relate to their mannerisms. I thought I related to guys, but it turns out I only relate to casual people. People who are open-minded and not acting like they're pumped with testosterone or total estrogen prisses. I never felt macho, but I never felt like one of the girly-girls. I do feel more feminine, but not as a female. Being feminine doesn't seem to describe my identity. Agender doesn't have to define as "no gender" entirely, because even Agender people still refer to themselves as a binary gender, but they don't feel restricted to it. If you're neutral about your gender, then Agender isn't a full-blown definition of being Genderless. To me Agender is not really Genderless. Agender doesn't necessarily deffer from either gender. But also, you don't have to label yourself as Agender if you still prefer being referred to as your physical gender. Me, I don't like certain titles to my gender, but I still prefer being called "she" and I can accept "ma'am".
I never felt comfortable in conforming to the gender stereotypes that society had assigned to my sex at birth. I now regard myself as kind of androgynous, sometimes expressing feminine qualities, sometimes male, and sometimes both or neither. I dress as I want to, well at home anyway. But even publicly, I'm no longer worried about wearing a top that is from the women's section, so long as it isn't too 'out there' to the extent that the local guys - I live in a quite conservative area - might attack me in some way for it. I get away with as much as I feel safe to. Anyway, for myself, and for when I go into the city where folks seem to be far more accepting of such variance, I'm just developing my own sense of style, wearing things that I like and that suit my body shape. I think this is an ongoing journey of self-discovery, and of finding your own personal style, too - and it's fun.
You described exactly how I feel... I don't like very much the word agender to describe me though, I'd preffer neutral gender. I don't mind the female pronouns since I'm already used to it and I always used to think that gender was the same thing as sex(even though I already accepted the transsexual people that transitioned at this time), so I didn't thought it was really wrong being seen as a female because of my body. At this time though, I used to think that males and females were exactly the same thing, the only difference being their bodies and my explanation for their behaviors was the fact that society forced us to act feminine/masculine. Not sure if it means anything though. Do you think it's wrong for me to identify as such? ---------- Post added 9th Aug 2014 at 10:31 PM ---------- I plans on getting new clothes, the unisex one or that seems to be unisex, to try a different style that might work for me. I already thought about trying to get masculine clothing, but my family wouldn't agreed with that and I don't really want to look way too masculine. Most people don't really like everything about the gender role they're supposed to follow, I guess.
Neutral Gender is fine if you feel that is what you define as, I don't think there is a wrong way to define yourself. If you feel more neutral than just Agendered, then it's your own meaning. Honestly the spectrum is a wide variety of possibilities.
Yeah, I believe so. I still preffer to label myself as female, but I'd like to have a more neutral way of dressing and acting. You said you're trying to achieve that too. So... What you got able to do about it right now? Do you have any tips?
For me, while I am Agendered, I am also Asexual. Also don't want to get pregnant, or have anything to do with my genitalia. So, I am thinking about getting a breast reduction, binder, or a full mastectomy. I have started to really think about it this month, so I'm going to give it more time before I decide what I want to do. I believe I need to discuss it with my mother, but I also should contact the LGBT group at my college about it first.
I saw a thread you started to get some advice about your breasts. I might not be the best person to help you with it, but I think you should bind for awhile just to see if that's enought for you. If it's not then you could give yourself some more time to decided if you'll reduce your breasts or go ahead with mastectomy. I don't really mind my breasts, they're not big and I don't want them to be bigger anyway, but I have no wish to make them go away even though I also don't see how they could be useful for me. I also don't want to get pregnant though having sex with other females doesn't sound too bad for me, also I don't really think any girl would like to have a bio female without breasts in the place I live in. It's pretty homophobic and transphobic, y'know? So what you're doing is not really going to work for me since my worries are about my gender expression, not my gender. I wish you luck and a great future for you. I believe you'll find out what works better for you soon enought.
Yeah it's alright, I'll find ways. Have you considered gender fluidity as a possibility? If you don't feel that fits you either, that's fine too. But yeah, I get you on the idea of homophobia. Then again, people seem to have this idea in their heads that lump all the sexualities and alternate gender identities into one idea that we look like freaks, in which it doesn't have to be so. Oh and no worries about me, but currently I can't afford a binder. I'm thinking a chat with my doctor might get me some pointers. Some people take more time to figure themselves out, and some people need more time to think things through.
