Too scared to cross dress because of haircut

I think if you want to, then do it . Nevermind what other people think!

 

You life, your body.

 

Hi, so I am in the same position. Just opposite.


I have started acquiring feminine things, working out the legs, shaving, making things presentable to prepare for going out. I am going to start going out at night, but I do a lot of weight lifting and am a CCW, so I don't need to worry about the safety issue as much in the city.

Problem is, my hair is also really short. I recognize myself as a man too, so my crossdressing doesn't stem from wanting to be "a woman" just feminine. (I'm still trying to figure this out). Therefore, I have little desire to wear a wig. Which is going to make things, very standoutish, and despite my overall masculine attitude, I certainly won't look it.

Realistically, having more people around when I go out will make it feel safer for me I think. That way I have my own support group - I have told one good friend and my GF was the one who found me out, also I told my sister last night. If that isn't possible for you, from my perspective...

If you wish you had done this years ago, you will only regret not doing it now farther down the road. If someone is making you feel embarrassed, do you really want them in your life? I for one only really cared about the people who know me. Apparently, they don't care what I do as long as I am happy with my life.

 

Doooo iiiiit.

Really, it seems like it will only be embarrassing at first, and more because you are apprehensive of how people will react. I can empathize. Think about it for a minute though. Even if it was "just a phase", there's no reason for folks to respect you any less for it. If they do, or are unwilling to adapt, it is their problem, not yours. While it may be tough, if you can let go of that apprehension and do what you want, you will gain more than you lose, I think.

And well, I really do know how you feel, since I'm kinda going through something similar right now. And I've been procrastinating about it for a couple weeks. But I've got a trip coming up, work to do, and money is tight.

 

Start slowly, like a men's t-shirt with women's jeans or something. Whatever you feel most comfortable in.

Also if the last time you dressed non-feminine was in high school, you might be tempted to go back to sweatpants and t-shirts: DONT. Get some grown-up clothes; it'll make you look less like you're trying to go back to your teenage years and more like you're an adult. You don't have to spring for expensive dapper clothing, but simple things like wearing a men's jacket instead of women's will look more grown up than reverting back to your teenage wardrobe. Most importantly make sure stuff fits.

Also there are ways to wear hair that look more feminine than others; find the right balance for you. But even with short hair and less feminine clothes you probably won't be read as a man or even masculine.

 

Weird phase...?
there's loads of transgender people out there who are transitioning (like me) I wouldn't call that a weird phase. Please think before you say things like that, it's kind of offensive and upsetting.

Anyway, who cares? As long as you're comfortable, as long as you feel happy in what you're wearing, life's to short to care what strangers you won't see again think. And anyway, it's more acceptable for girls to dress like guys than the other way around.

 

I think you should do it and not care what the others think.

 

Yes

 

Yeah, hearing it from my family is bad enough, I would have hoped a forum like this would be a safe space away from transphobic comments

 

How else are people supposed to describe what they are going through if not to be honest about what their habits are being called? She didn't mean anything by it other than to express what people are saying about her. It is upsetting, that is the issue. That's what made her make the post to begin with. It's kind of hard to reword something, when that phrase is what you are being told by everyone around you...

 

She wasn't quoting anyone else, she said "It'll look like I'm going through some kind of weird phase, that'll be embarrassing"
She could have said
"People may think I'm questioning my gender"
"People may get the wrong impression of my gender"
Etc. I've grown up with people telling me I'm going through a 'weird phase' and dressing how you want and cutting your hair how you want isn't weird. As long as you're comfortable with who you are and say F-U to society, then what does it matter what other people think?

 

I don't think she meant it to be upsetting. I think she just means that where she owns a lot of dresses, and has been dressing girly for quite some time, it might come as a shock to people that she's suddenly wearing a very different style of clothing. As far as I know, she isn't transgendered, so it doesn't really have any bearing on that.

**edit: I didn't see the last couple of posts. But still.

 

I'm just offended because when I came out as trans my parents were calling it a weird phase and were hoping i'd grow out of it. I just think it's wrong to say challenging the gender sterotypes and expanding the boundaries is a weird phase, guys should be able to wear dresses, girls should be able to cut their hair short, it isn't weird.
But obviously because no one else is offended, I'm not allowed to be and my feelings are invalid.

 

Hey, I've challenged gender stereotypes my whole life. I have short hair and my entire wardrobe consists of male clothing, because that's what I like, and that's what I feel comfortable in. I'm 100% in favour of anyone being able to wear whatever the hell they want, because I've lived it my whole life and know what goes along with challenging people's ideas of "gender stereotypes".

I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, I was just saying that I don't think she meant to offend you.

 

Oooh are we the ones who matter?? :eusa_danc

 

There's a difference between not caring what strangers think, and being able to call them out when they say something problematic smh.

 

Frankly in my eye opening out of the closet no question in public travels?

People either can't tell if I'm not bio female.

Or they don't care.

Be happy with yourself.