but I love this body?

If I were transferred to the body of Chris Hemsworth (Thor) I would love the body and think it was beautiful, but that wouldn't mean I wasn't still me.

 

I hear ya, some trans people struggle with changing genders, and sometimes avoid sex change operations because they aren't so much in dysphoria with their own bodies. For me, I accepted my body for a long time, but that was from two reasons: being petrified of surgery, and just not really caring so much that I'd deal with the bewbs.

I am Agendered, but I consider myself genderless, and I feel more like a child than an adult (I'm 27), so boobs to me just don't seem to work for me any more.

For me, I'm still thinking about getting surgery to remove them and get a flat chest. Though I don't feel like I belong to either male or female, and I don't feel like I don't accept my female body.

I am still genderless inside, and gender to me seems fictitious. So I don't feel like my body binds me to my internal gender. I do love my beauty, and youthful appearance. For me, I still look younger than I am.

Not sure if my feelings will change as I get older, but I'm starting to get a complex where I would prefer staying youthful forever, or until the end of my life. In a way, I'd like to live forever, but at the same time I fear having to maintain a life that never ends.

I guess in a way it could be mirrored to your situation, in an alternate way.

But yeah, I've definitely heard of other transgenders who are still ok with their bodies, but internally they feel they are still the opposite. Depends on how much you have gender dysphoria I guess.

 

It's called Dysphoria, the definition has been jumbled over the years
What it really is:
"While biological sex and gender identity are the same for most people, this is not the case for everyone. For example, some people may have the anatomy of a man, but identify themselves as a woman, while others may not feel they are definitively either male or female.
This mismatch between sex and gender identity can lead to distressing and uncomfortable feelings that are called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a recognised medical condition, for which treatment is sometimes appropriate. It is not a mental illness. Adults with gender dysphoria can feel trapped inside a body that does not match their gender identity. They may feel so unhappy about social expectations that they live according to their anatomical sex, rather than the gender they feel themselves to be. They may also have a strong desire to change or get rid of physical signs of their biological sex, such as facial hair or breasts."

What people like to say it is:
"An extreme hatred for your body, a feeling of disgust towards the gender you were assigned at birth" And because of this lots of people overlook that they have gender dysphoria.

I am a very curvy boy, I have large boobs and big hips, I have an hour glass figure. I can appreciate that this is attractive and desirable, and if I identified as a girl, I would love it, however to me, I feel like I'm just piloting a robot/shell from the inside, I feel like the body I'm using isn't actually connected to me, and I need to work to make it better reflect my gender (Male)


Hope this helped

 

I hear what you're saying and to an extent, I feel the same. As much as my body clashes with who I am internally, I kind of feel sorry for it. I have been at war with my body ever since puberty kicked in not knowing that I was a boy or that what I was struggling with was dysphoria. Eventually this ended with me becoming anorexic.

Some days I want to get out of my skin as if it were a suit and leave all this female s:***: behind me. Other days I feel sorry that I have treated my body so badly and I almost feel proud of who I am and what I have been through to get to the point I'm at now. I probably feel more connected to my body now than I have my whole life. It's wrong but it's still me and sometimes I can find a little bit more compassion for it. So I get where you're coming from. It doesn't make you any less trans. You've just got to decide if transitioning i.e. hrt and surgery is right for you.

 

I really hope it doesn't invalidate anything. While I'm not in the same boat, what you said strikes a couple important chords in me.

I've been reading up on the forms of transitioning that some nonbinary folk go through, and hearing about them medically transitioning. I wind up feeling a bit like I don't fit in there either, while the label still feels more comfortable to me than my assigned label. Does not wanting to medically transition make me any less "neutral gender"? Does not wanting to femme/butch up my dress too much put me back in my assigned gender, even if I am avoiding my gender's form of dress as much as I can?

It feels like we have similar doubts of not being "trans enough" to fit in, if I'm understanding you.

 

You have dysphoria. I mean, at any rate, it's still your body and your property. At the same time, you have the choice as to what you want to do with it. There's no universal standard as to what a man and woman should be or look like. Do what you want to it, as long as it makes you happy in the end.

 

Nobody has to undergo any form of surgery or hormone replacement therapy if they don't want to. It doesn't mean you are any less 'trans'. If I'm right, being transgender just means identifying as a gender other than that which you were assigned at birth. If you don't identify with either gender but you're comfortable with the body you have rather than modifying it through hormones and surgery, then that's fine. The way you dress is more along the lines of gender expression rather than gender identity. If you are biologically male, identify as non-binary and want to wear dresses, that's fine. If you are biologically female, identify as non-binary and want to wear dresses, then that's fine too. The same goes for shirts and trousers. Or you might prefer to dress in a unisex way or incorporate a mixture of male/female clothing. Basically, you should dress however you want to express yourself and how you feel comfortable, regardless of your gender identity.

 

Exactly this. If I were female, I would be thrilled - I am generally considered to be conventionally attractive, I have no issues in shopping for women's clothes because I'm a fairly standard size, I present myself in unconventional ways and a wide array of people still find me beautiful. It's hard for me to say I'd make for an attractive woman, because I don't think of myself as attractive, but I can see how other people find me to be, since they've told me again and again. My body isn't a bad body. It just doesn't feel like my body, because I'm not a woman. And it might not be the angry kind where you wish you could chop bits of you off or add bits of you on, but it's dysphoria too.

 

If I could make my face more feminine... I'd be happy. I can use breastforms. I can wear clothes that cover my genitals easy.

I like my body but I could stand being a bit more feminine in the face even though I'm actually not bad considering I'm not on hormones.

 

See, with me, it's how you described, except I do also have angry chop bits off days, but I'm learning to control those better

 

I have them too, and all too frequently. What I mean is, that angry sort of dysphoria isn't the only kind there is. I feel like that's not addressed much and it should be - there's no heirarchy of transness, and dysphoria differs in intensity from person to person, and from day to day. And that's normal and doesn't invalidate your identity.

 

I mean today, I know it's there, it's an underlying feeling of unrest and discontent with my body, but I can normally ignore it because I'm used to it.
But yesterday it was angry rip off lady parts day.

Just because you don't hate your body doesn't make you any less trans, it just means you experience dysphoria differently and no one has the right to gatekeep or invalidate others experiences

 

I mean today, I know it's there, it's an underlying feeling of unrest and discontent with my body, but I can normally ignore it because I'm used to it.
But yesterday it was angry rip off lady parts day.

Just because you don't hate your body doesn't make you any less trans, it just means you experience dysphoria differently and no one has the right to gatekeep or invalidate others experiences