Cis or trans

Thanks for posting. Well for my part there were things like: Not wanting to be handsome, but to be pretty. Having a lot of natural mannerisms that are 'feminine' (I suppressed them). Really wishing I was born a girl. Imagining the process of masturbation as a girl. It's absolutely ordinary to be very confused and worried at the start of questioning. The only reason I find myself where I am is that I couldn't stand any longer the idea of keeping going when I hate being 'myself' all the time.

 

In my opinion, society is skewed towards the ideas that cis is "normal" and trans is "not normal". It's more likely that a transperson would be in denial about their identity in an attempt to blend in with the "normal" crowd. If you (general you) think you might be trans or queer in any way, I think you're probably correct about yourself. The only way I can see somebody who is cis being in denial about being trans is if they want to feel persecuted, such as someone with an attention-seeking personality disorder.

 

Tumblr is chock full of people who want to be trans simply because Tumblr has warped the transgender community into something that is seen as "cool," and therefore, being transgender is cool.

I mean no offense, but things like specialgender, which is defined as a person who is cisgender, but identifies as transgender, are not valid identities in my opinion. Sure, go ahead and use it, but it's negatively affecting others. A lot.

Me, I am fully male. However, my gender expression teeters to the feminine side. So, does that make me any less male? Am I not transgender?

Hell no. I'm manly as fuck.

Some people feel dysphoric often. Others feel dysphoric rarely. And yet others are in the middle. Just because you aren't dysphoric 24/7 does not mean you aren't "trans enough".

At times, I feel perfectly OK with my body, even if I generally want to change it. But I'm still male. That hasn't changed.

Hopefully this makes at least some sense.

 

Isn't, in a way, specialgender perfectly fine since it is identifying itself as essentially 'for presentation purposes only'?

 

Can you elaborate on that? Sorry, I don't understand what you meant.

Things like moongender and voidgender are, by far, much better than specialgender, in my opinion. Specialgender people claim that they should've been born of the opposite sex so they can transition. I mean, sure, if you feel that way, but why would you want to go through that?

That and the fact it's entirely contradictory. A specialgirl is a person AFAB and still identifies as female. A specialboy is a person AMAB and still identifies as male.

Sounds familiar? It is. That's the definition of cisgender people.

Yet, these people call themselves transgender. You can't be transgender and cisgender at the same time - they're literal opposites. Trans means across; cis means the same side.

I don't particularly care, really, but I just beg for them to consider the feelings of others. It feels invalidating.

 

I misunderstood if they were born the same gender... that they are currently expressing and more or less being/internally identifying? Confused.

 

@OP: I have had this feeling as well. When I first started questioning my gender a few months ago, I felt like a cis person trying to feel trans. I still feel like that, when I'm extremely tired or confused. But I'm assuming it's a sort of denial, and a want to feel cis because that what's society has deemed "correct." I'm assuming you are in a sort of denial as well. If you question your gender this much, there's a large chance you are transgender.

 

This was something I had wondered also as doubts played on me, whether I am fooling myself despite how certain I am with thought on it. Also I'm becoming aware that the feeling of 'inside aren't I supposed to... change... more?' is meaningless because I have always been basically the same inside, it's the outside presentation that was fraudulent...

 

It's like if Bob was a specialboy, he would be assigned male at birth, identify as male, but also say he's transgender. And if Sally was a specialgirl, she would be assigned female at birth, identify as a female, and also say she's transgender.

The term transgender really does mean different things to different people, I guess, and specialgender is simply not something that fits under my definition (genuinely identifying with a gender different from your birth sex).

Sorry, I feel as if this is a little off topic. :lol: my point is just that there's no such thing as "not trans enough"... you're either trans or you're not. Just my opinion, anyway.

 

I don't think you can really "identify" as trans can you? You identify as a gender and how it relates to your assigned gender determines whether you are cis or trans, no? trans itself is an effect not an identify in this sense (sorry if I offend anyone here, please correct me if I'm wrong!). I should emphasize I'm not saying being trans can't be part of your identify, just it's more of an effect than a cause if that makes sense?

More on topic, I can relate to feeling like you're making yourself feel a certain way. You mind may be "playing tricks" more because you're paying more attention and more aware of your feelings, but that doesn't make them any less valid. Only you can say, but I doubt many truly cis people feel the way you do.

 

Well I would say that for people we can't fall back on 'a spade is a spade' because our function does not determine our form absolutely and vice versa. So in a way you are right?

 

It depends on your definition of "identify". Some people who fit in the transgender label don't particularly like being referred to as transgender, so they don't identify with it. Others don't mind or prefer being referred to as transgender, so they identify with it.

However, in my opinion, this only applies if you are considered, by definition, transgender. If you're cisgender by definition, you shouldn't "identify" with "transgender" - mostly because you aren't.

I think this stems from over-zealous people hating cisgender people, therefore, being transgender has warped into something you SHOULD be. People hold it highly, like it's something you should aim for. But those people don't understand what the trans community has to go through. Workplace discrimination, bullying, death threats and risks, as well as the price of transition, if you choose to do that. It's not as pretty as some people make it out to be.

Being transgender is apart of identity, but it's not your identity as a whole. I don't believe there is anything by itself can be your entire identity. You pull in different traits and characteristics to make your identity, not just one thing, if that makes sense.

For what OP is saying, I get that. It probably deals with the "being trans is cool" thing as well, and/or the fear that you'll have to correct others again if you actually turn out cis. I harbor this fear as well. I hate to cause drama, and if I turned out cis... all these support and answers I've given based on my gender would be wrong.

Maybe you feel similarly?

Although, I don't think it's a very justified thinking. I identify as male, I like to be gendered as male, and the thought of being in a male body makes me feel so, so good, so I doubt I'm cisgender. Not sure if I said this already, but being trans does not involve thinking about your gender all the time. It may or may not be a big part of you, but it's not your everything, and aside from your gender, you probably have other issues to deal with too.

You mentioned you are invested in the sexual side of things. If you only feel female within sexual encounters/fantasies, it may just be a fetish. But you mentioned you don't. What are the reasons you mentioned?

You could also be non-binary. Genderfluid? If you feel sometimes male and sometimes female, you may want to look more into that. If you just feel female most of the time, you may be a binary trans woman. And there are still labels for things that you may have trouble describing, like if you simply don't feel anything for your gender, feel like you don't or shouldn't have one, or don't care - that's called being agender/neutrois.

Although, I identify within the binary, Those definitions are probably real rough, but I thought I'd mention them anyway.

 

Ah, sorry. I reread that and it sounded awfully worded. I wasn't trying to accuse you of labeling yourself to be 'cool', I was just doubting the legitimacy of my own, which I really shouldn't.

Have you heard of the demigenders? It's when you feel only partially female or partially male.

As for genderfluid people, I think it depends. The genderfluid person I know said that they felt male for a year or so, then they began to feel female the next. It's not some sudden, jarring change - or at least I don't think so, although I wouldn't know, since I'm not really genderfluid.

Being the same person, in my opinion, doesn't really deal with your gender alone. It deals with everything else that makes you you.