I'm new here. Maybe someone has brought this up. I really think that the word "preference" implies a choice, and would much rather that people spoke in terms of orientation. I guess that if you are bi, or otherwise not strictly gay or lesbian, you may indeed have a preference. I am 100% undeniably gay. My "preference" would be to have been born straight, but I wasn't. I know that this may be offensive to many proud gay people, but I also believe that many other LGBTQ people feel that their lives would be better if they were "normal". (I just threw that "normal" in there to stir the pot) Anyone else have feelings regarding "preference"?
For some people it might have more meaning than for others. For me it's a useful thing (pan/bi label) but my 'preference' is how much I like someone, and nothing else. Can't seem to do anything about this response, it either is or it isn't.
I prefer topping women, I prefer being topped by men. Does that count? Lol. I think in general, if someone "preferred" to be born something else, they would be doing so out of fear, frustration or curiosity. In a world without bigotry, would you rather be attracted to women or men. If your honest answer is women, then I can believe what you say is true. Personally, I would prefer if I was just a tad more in the middle between women and men. I lean more towards women than men in terms of attraction. But I care more about my own sexual gratification as opposed to what everyone else thinks of me.
Well that's like me saying "I prefer cashews over almonds". That doesn't mean that I like almonds too necessarily, but given the choice between both of them, I'd gladly choose cashews. (I'm allergic to almonds anyway, that's why I prefer the other one). I get what you're saying, and it's all up to one's own interpretation. If I were in a room with 20 Victoria's Secret models and one hot guy, I'd prefer to be with the hot guy than the 20 Victoria's Secret models :lol:.
If we're talking about "gay" and "lesbian" and "bi" and so forth then "sexual orientation" would certainly be the better and more accurate word to use. I use "sexual preference" sometimes when talking about sexual abuse survivors. Let's say a heterosexual female survivor abused by a man. She might (naturally) be uncomfortable around men and feel safer connecting with women. She is still hetero, in that her real attractions are to men, but men also scare her, so her sexual preference is for women. But she's not really a lesbian, because her hardwired orientation (toward men) remains unchanged. It's this sort of shading and nuance that completely eludes the ignorant bigots that do ex-gay (sexual orientation conversion) therapy, and I think for that reason that it's important that we use words like "orientation" and only use "preference" in very specific and appropriate circumstances.
I'm not fussed. For one, it's far more important to prove that being queer isn't bad, rather than proving it isn't a choice. If it isn't bad, why would it matter that people choose it?
Thanks to all who responded. I really thought that there would be more opposition to "preference" but I guess it doesn't really bother other folks as much as it bothers me.
Because then bigoted people will think they can unchoose and your playing right into the bigots hands because they can then turn around and say gay activist were lying the whole time.
