So, I know I'm trans female, and most people know this now. But my parents are constantly trying to "Pray it away" and say I'm just following Satan's lies. What I am getting at is, my parents constantly bring up to the "therapist" that I played flag football a lot, and absolutely love football in general. They say I'm trying to be masculine by playing football, and that the feminism is just my way of handling the way some people treated me growing up. They constantly say that by playing football, I was never trans but just confused. What I told the shrink is something I haven't told my parents yet. I never liked to play football...at first. I've always loved watching it, but I hated playing it. The running and hitting was just awful. But after 4-5 years of doing it, I got accustomed to it and now I actually really enjoy it. Are my parents right? Could I have just thought I was trans for 16-17 years, or did I kinda hypnotize myself to like football?
No. You are what you are. It's normal to do something so much you learn to passively enjoy it. It's a coping mechanism to keep yourself from going nuts. Don't let them burn you down. Stay strong, believe in yourself and who you are. You and only you know what is right for you, not anyone else. Let them pray all they want, it won't change what you are. If they can't accept you for who you are, that is their suffering brought on by their own choosing.
Gender roles do NOT mean gender identity, you can like football whilst being a boy, a girl, non binary. I know girls who like trucks and mechanics and boys who like flower arranging.
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...nformation-about-transgender-individuals.html "...there is a part of the brain that is different sizes in males and females. Autopsies have shown that this structure is consistent in size with the desired gender of transsexual individuals regardless of whether or not they ever underwent HRT. This does not prove causation, but it is extremely good evidence for a biological cause."
This is a complex and nuanced area and thera are indeed a fair number of people who identify as trans and then a year or three or whatever years later figure out that they aren't trans at all. However, the business of hypnotizing oneself to be straight/cis/etc... that's just BS. As others have said, because you like masculine things doesn't mean you're trans, or lesbian, or anything other than a woman who likes masculine things. Likewise, there are plenty of straight men who enjoy things typically feminine. It doesn't mean they are gay or trans. If you're questioning whether you're trans, I would strongly suggest finding a therapist who is really skilled and experienced in helping people navigate this territory; one who won't push his or her agenda on you or tell you what to do, but will listen and reflect with you so that you can figure it out for yourself. Transitioning is a mostly irreversible, one-way choice. You (at least in my opinion) want to be really, really sure before you start down that road.
Of course there are different stages to this... Its your choice, your feeling and your decision, what you do... take your time if necessary... (*hug*)
artist92, there is possibly nothing finer (to me) than a really good sparring match. What you like doesn't determine this sort of thing (imo).
Thanks. I am EXTREMELY certain I'm trans, but I was wondering if maybe since I forced myself to like football, maybe I could force myself to be cis just so my family would love me. I dont want to, but I'd rather hurt than hurt others.
What you like does not determine your gender Being comfortable in your own skin is more important than other peoples' discomfort about who you are.
I don't remember if I said this in one of your other threads, but I think your family does love you, and is just doing a horrible job of showing it. They're worried that something terrible is happening to you and are desperately trying to save you from the perceived threat. They're too blind by their own fear to see how terribly they're hurting you, how they're not helping at all. What they aren't doing is accepting you for who you are. Try not to confuse love with acceptance. Maybe that will brighten your mindset slightly. Acceptance is solely their responsibility. You can't force them to accept you; they have to figure it out themselves. You're not hurting anyone by being true to yourself, by being a transwoman. Your parents are hurting themselves by living in fear and denial. I wish I could give you better advice since they're obviously very stubborn and toxic.
(*hug*)Hey, My suggestion is to continue to learn about how you feel and not to let anyone dissuade you from being yourself, however you choose to be. Trust yourself. I spent two weeks in re partitive therapy, they broke me for 14 months until I was able to break their conditioning. Remember you are important to YOU, you have VALUE, and only you can decide on who you wish to be.(*hug*)
I think people can force themselves to appreciate and perhaps even develop some enjoyment for various hobbies, sports, etc. I don't think it's possible (and there's plenty of evidence of various therapists/quacks/others trying) to force oneself to be someone other than who they are. While it would be near impossible to find them, it would be interesting to talk to trans people who grew up and lived 50 or 60 years ago -- people who would be in their 70s and 80s now -- and see what their experiences were. I suspect the overwhelming majority never transitioned and simply learned to tolerate life inauthentically. I seriously doubt many, if any, of these people were happy. As much as it sounds enticing to be someone other than yourself for the sake of your parents or others, if you are certain of who you are, I think you owe it to yourself to live authentically.
