Well, I've been more of a "tomboy" for as long as I can remember. I was pretty much fine with just being more on the masculine side... and after I realized my sexuality being labeled as a "dyke" was fine with me. but lately, like the past few weeks, I've actually been having major gender dysphoria. To the point where its had me physically sick to my stomach, given me anxiety attacks, and had be breaking down in tears. All because I know I'm physically female and I know that pretty much everyone around me views me as female. Its been causing me so much stress, especially when I go clothes shopping, get dressed, shower, socialize with people I'm not super close with, etc. I just don't understand why its been popping up so much and so strongly just more recently? Any ideas as to why that could be and or tips for dealing with the discomfort? Thank you to everyone who's still reading and/or leaves a reply (*hug*)
I'm very sorry to hear about your dysphoria. I know how awful it can be. This is just my experience but I know my dysphoria started quite suddenly because I had repressed the fact that I was transgender for too long. I had tried to fit in with others so hard that I had buried who I was. One day I looked at myself at felt so sick at how wrong I looked - the person was not me. Does that make sense? Maybe the reason it came on so suddenly for you is similar? As for dealing with it, the only way I can suggest is to try to act as male as possible, maybe dress as male when you can? Have you considered a gender therapist? I'm sorry, I can't really help with this, it's something I struggle with myself. I'd like you to know that you can post on my wall and talk to me anytime, I'm here for you, you're not alone and the whole of EC is behind you. We all care about you (*hug*)
My thought was also, try to 'be' mentally who you are. No more masking no more hiding. It seems to help me, though it is still new and still a struggle.
Yes, I was thinking that could be a possibility. I tend to burry my feelings in a deep deep hole, but they always seem to crawl out of there. This is probably what's happening. I dress in male clothing which does help, passing is a big thing for me. If I pass im confident, if feel like I don't pass as male that's when my anxiety kicks in. Thank you so much
I'm glad I could help. Like Kai said, try not to hide yourself, just be who you are and you will most likely feel more comfortable. I understand completely the anxiety and dysphoria that comes with being perceived as female, it's a normal (but sucky) part of being closeted trans*/genderqueer. As I mentioned before, if you need me you can talk to me, anytime. (*hug*)
You will reach your goals in time,... You might collect some information and think about what you would want and what would make you feel comfortable. You might go to a gender therapist or to someone from an lgbt center. Don't feel pressured by someone to do something, its your decision... There are quite a number of tutorials on the internet and on youtube. There are a few threads on FtM clothing on EC. Here might be some additinal hints on passing: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...pful-informative-threads-gender-identity.html
It was similar for me when I realised I was trans. The dysphoria hit me like a ton of bricks. All I can advise is to do things to keep yourself feeling uplifted as possible. I find that the more depressed I am the more dysphoric.
