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Thoughts on labels

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Aug 28, 2014.

  1. Kasey

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    I've learned something wise from a MtF friend of mine.

    She doesn't refer to herself as transgender. Why? Because that doesn't matter. She is female. I recognize that fact myself now.

    I'm not ashamed of being transgender but I feel like why advertise it when you can just be who you identify as. I mean aren't we just trying to be our desired gender? We want to be seen as our gender.

    So I'm not saying that everyone should do this, but I'm simply going to change my marker to female now.

    Maybe this is pointless, maybe this makes sense, maybe it's confusing. I dunno. But it's my feeling that works for me. So if new members see me as biologically female, then all the better.

    Feel free to share your opinions.
     
  2. Kai LD

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    I respect that, and in my head once I understand the way that a person wants to be referred to, it is now "she" or "he" or whichever is appropriate. It is an interesting thing you bring up, because I often in the past referred to myself in my mind in a mostly gender neutral way because I felt uneasy embracing my feminine side and wrong thinking of myself as a man. Still takes getting used to, for my labeling of myself. I look forward to when I can firmly establish my identity (relatively speaking) because for external purposes it isn't very.
     
  3. HappyGirlLucky

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    This is funny. When I signed up I just marked myself as Female, but when I decided to post my "How did I know?" post I changed it, because I didn't want to offend other trans* people. I don't identify as trans* either and will also be changing mine back. :slight_smile:

    Good post!
     
  4. itsAli

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    I like having the Trans label, however that's the only one I use, I don't use any for my sexuality because I don't see the point, I understand that some people enjoy having labels and it's helped them and made them feel less alone, however when it comes to me, I don't want them
     
  5. Hexagon

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    Well you've already read my opinions. Just want to add that expecting us to call ourselves trans men/trans women rather than just men and women is basically saying that we're not really men and women, just kinda. And ftm/mtf pisses me off so much. My gender now has no relation to my assigned gender, and that gender is male, not femaletomale. Why people actually use said terms to describe themselves, I have no idea.
     
  6. Kai LD

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    The problem is the attachment of biology to most people to 'correct' gender roles etc. I don't know how many times that has been raked over, but that is why. People still automatically assume that you 'should' be a certain way purely due to having a physical sex assigned. (Makes it even worse for those who are somewhere in-between biologically since society has no idea how to respect that or deal with it.)
     
  7. Kasey

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    Excellent clarification hex. I bet most people never saw our little conversation in WAYT.

    Exactly. Stressing that we are trans undermines the fact we are men and women.
     
  8. Kai LD

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    I'm not sure how to put this in words but... Just about everyone that is not a racist says you should not judge people based on appearances. We certainly still do though, all the time, on a fundamental level, when we mentally classify people around us by gender and expectation, where we try to make sense of people by trying to put them in boxes with labels. Not really sure where I am going with this, thoughts are a little jumbled... But are people only allowed to be in a 'club' by sufficient conformity? This seems to be largely what happens in groups but has terrible consequences when this plays into physiognomy. :confused:
     
  9. Kasey

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    Gender is a societal construct. If it is unacceptable for someone of a certain biological sex to be a certain gender, then the need for passing comes into play, or in the case of severe dysphoria, corrective surgery.

    But that's not my point.

    Your gender is what you define it as. I'm tired of calling myself trans. I'm just female now. My birth sex is irrelevant.
     
  10. Kai LD

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    :icon_bigg :thumbsup:
     
  11. itsAli

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    When I first started questioning my gender, I used loads of labels, and I avoided trans as much as I could, because it just felt so daunting and scary you know? I was terrified to accept it, so I used loads of labels to try and escape the fact I am. The only time I use the label trans is when I realised that's what I am and there's no point in fighting it because I'll be unhappy and miserable, and when I came out to friends and family.
     
  12. Kasey

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    Oh I know what I am. I know I'm trans by nature. But I am female. That's more important.

    And to be honest you weren't around when I finally accepted myself and changed my label to trans a while ago. It was an evolution and accepting of myself. It did however take me literally 15 minutes to physically day aloud once I accepted it in my mind and heart.

    Now I've made a new evolution of self identity even if I can't present female all times or that I'm not out to everyone or even on hormones.

    I'm just female. Trans or cis doesn't matter anymore.
     
  13. itsAli

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    I think labels are important when you're questioning, because it gives you an idea, and shows you you're not alone, there's a community willing to help you, and I think that's fantastic, but I think after a while, when you're comfortable with it it doesn't matter anymore.
    I spent 4 years finding a label for my sexuality, then after a while I just stopped caring
     
  14. Kasey

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    Yea. I'm not questioning anymore. At least not now.

    I am however in the "fuck it" when it comes to orientation. I just want someone who loves me and will share my life. Cis trans male female... whatever. I do prefer females, but whatever.
     
  15. looking for me

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    i viewed "trans" as in "transition" or a name for the "gender spectrum". so if you are transitioning or place yourself on the spectrum, usually other than cis, that term would apply.

    as for you Kasey, i think you have arrived(*hug*)
     
  16. Kasey

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    Well I'm not like full time out or have had srs etc... i know what I am and accept myself so as far as that transition goes, yes you are correct.
     
  17. Tai

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    I like this; however, if I were meeting someone new and we got close, either as friends or partners, they would be surprised when they would find female genitals on me. I would want to avoid that surprise. Also, I haven't transitioned yet, so I still look like a girl. If I don't explain that I'm transgender, people I'm with evey day would ask me why I'm referring to myself as a man.

    But if you have fully transitioned or look convincing, I love the idea. Or if you haven't gotten SRS and you're talking to a random person who would never see your clothes off, it would be handy in that situation, too.
     
    #17 Tai, Aug 28, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
  18. Hexagon

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    It isn't about stealth, although obviously that's an option. It's just about not treating our transness as the most important part of who we are, and about not reinforcing the concept that trans people aren't 'real' men and women. You could be perfectly open about being trans, and still not refer to yourself as a trans man/woman.
     
  19. Linthras

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    My profile info on the left should give you a good indication.
    I don't like labels at all, because of the stereotypes associated with it, but also because none seem to fit me a T.
    With regards to transpeople, like anyone, they should identify with what they feel is right.
    When someone comes out to me/informs me, I'd prefer if they'd just say what gender they are (if they know).
     
  20. Kasey

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    Yes. The bolded statement is exactly my point. Sure. I can disclose myself. And will have to. But I'm female no matter how you frame it.