(Apologies for the crappy title (> .<)) So, i've recently figured out that i'm genderfluid. I have short hair anyway (which will hopefully get cut shorter), have been contemplating a non-gendered name (Alex seems to be the most likely so far), and i'm desperately hoping to get a binder for guy days (which are more frequent than girl days - not that i'm very girly on girl days anyway but you know) - The only thing is that before i get a binder and so on, i want to let the people i care about know about the situation. I'm pretty sure that my friends will take it in their stride - (they were cool with it when i let them know that i liked girls, so hopefully this shouldn't be too much different). The main problem is telling my family - well, mainly just my mum since she's the only one i actually live with; i'd rather keep it quiet from the rest of my family but we'll see how it goes. Don't get me wrong, i love my family and they're really good people - but there have been a number of issues with them regarding my gender and sexuality in the past, plus i get really anxious in any situation wherein i have to talk about myself in any detail, so it's kind of terrifying to think of having to explain this to them. (The problems in the past being that when my mum found out about my liking girls, it was never spoken of again except for once when it was kind of blatantly dismissed; as well as my grandparents frequently reminding me that i'm a girl, not a guy and i should be girly and wear dresses (like i said, i have girl days sometimes, but even then i'm not "girly"); and my family descending into awkward silence whenever people think i'm a guy and call me "sir" - a thing that would normally make me feel strong but then just kind of makes me curl into a bundle of ohdeargodhowdoievenfunction.) Anyway, i'm rambling - the main point is that with my friends, i can hopefully just bring it up in conversation and explain it and it'll be fine; but if anyone has any advice for how i can break it to my mum i would be eternally grateful, i really don't want her to flip out or disregard this. I was considering recording a message for her about it and having some resources on standby - but god i just really have no idea how to do this or what to say or how to say it. If anyone has any advice, or if anyone would even be willing to let me know how you told your nearest and dearest if you were ever in this situation, that would be amazing. Thankyou and have a great day regardless (*hug*)
Okay so maybe ignore this i think i put it in the wrong section of the forum and i don't know how to fix it i'm sorry i'll repost it in the right place but i have no idea how to delete the thread ahh
Hey you have my sympathy. (*hug*) You're further along than me in a lot of ways and the closest I've told my mom or dad yet about my gender thing in direct terms is to ask them to stop calling me by my given name, because I don't like it and never felt comfortable saying so before. So I feel kind of like a coward right now and I can't wait to get some distance for myself so I can feel more comfortable without having my family around sort of molding me by expectation.
You can't delete the thread without pm-ing one of the administrators. I don't think you put it in necessarily the wrong forum though! i had exactly the same doubts after first posting on this site. It's cool that you have yourself figured out so much already. Afraid I can't really give you any real advice cause I haven't come out to my parents yet!
Well I never got round to telling my family in the proper way I had imagined but I have heard letters are a good way of breaking the news. That way you can think it through first and make sure you get everything in there you want to say and also, it is much less likely to spiral out of control as a conversation might do, for example if you or your parents say something in the heat of the moment that upsets the other.
