Dear all, I am 23, and I still haven't a clue whether I might be a trans or not/want transition. Unfortunately, I'm too scared to even face the "coming out" stage right now. I would love to wait longer and longer to make a decision, but I'm afraid my body will morph and become too masculine. To be honest, I'm afraid of some of these changes in general. I like my more femme appearance regardless of whether I transition or not. But yeah- I definitely would have passed at 19, now I'll most likely pass with reasonable ease, but I fear my body will keep changing. *Sigh*.
Assuming you're done with puberty, your body should have stopped changing for the most part. I would wait a few months at least before you make your decision, so you know for sure if you want to transition. You can't change back some of the effects, so you should be sure of yourself before doing it.
You might have a look at this: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? The transgender spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, to srs. Of course the list is not all possible options. It's up to you to collect further information... You might also for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center to clarify your views, if that's what you want. An option might be to ask a doctor ie. for hormone blockers until you know what you want. This should be talked through with a doctor, hormone blockers might not be taken indefinetly. I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision... There is no only one right way to do this. Its your choice what you want to do...
I wish I was more open to have even discussed this with a gender therapist, but I'm too shy and confused. I might need another year to try for time, to see how I feel. I'm just hoping my body doesn't become too masculine over time. Even as a male, I prefer the androgynous look.....which I have so far.
Tai makes a good point that you should have stopped growing by now or at least coming to the end of that stage. You have to go talk to someone. If you're confused, then a therapist can help you enravel whatever confusion you might have. What other option do you suggest if you want to throw that out?
I think a therapist, like Candace and Jay777 said, is something you really ought to consider. It's an important step for you to take regardless of whether or not you decide to transition, and can help you determine which is the better of the two choices for you. But there are many types of trans individuals, it's more, like what was said before, a spectrum of greys. I was female at birth, but I don't consider myself, nor have I ever felt female - growing up with the strange desire and yearning for male traits and features, but at the same time, I've never entirely wanted to be male, or take that step. Androgyny has been something that I've sort of sought after, and now am taking steps to achieve. You could also consider partial transitioning, such as getting implants or taking hormone/hormone blockers - but you've already reached the last stages of puberty, so I wouldn't anticipate a lot more masculinity than what you already possess. Again, I think a gender therapist is the first step - and something you should pursue.
While I always complain I wish I realized what I am 10 years ago (that would make me 23.), sometimes we aren't ready... I've already pass puberty. At least I'm not the most masculine looking male bodied person out there, but I wish I could have transitioned before I got sort of "locked in". That kills me right now. Yes. Talk to a gender therapist. Definitely.
I'm going to be out of my home country for a while, so sadly, I probably can't find a therapist. No matter how much part of me might want to say something.... I just can't. It's too awkward, too confusing. :/
I'm in the same boat in a lot of ways. I'm too scared to come out right now, and I sometimes wonder how ready I really am to start transitioning. But I do know that I want to do something before I get more womanly than I already am. I've decided it's time to try and find a therapist. I'd say you should consider one too. It might help.
Yeah, very possibly. Like I said, I don't mind waiting another year to secure my feelings, I'm just hoping that puberty is indeed over, and my body doesn't grow more masculine than it already is. It stinks when you're potentially on a time crunch- that's the only thing that's scaring me. As a side note, has anyone else ever experienced transgender symptoms quite so late? As a kid, I was the slightest bit interested in cross dressing and as a teen I was very fussy about having long hair, but I've only felt like I wanted to live and dress as a girl for 2 years at the most, mainly this year. Anyone else feel this way?
I guess not. This is all so new to me, and I'm quite scared. I wish I had more time and patience to discover my feelings, my identity- I wish I had ready access to a gender therapist or the courage to reveal these feelings to someone else. But I can't- I have extreme shyness and social anxiety as it is :/. I wish, as silly as it sounds, I wish I had a private place to crossdress. But even that, seems too big a luxury to be true . *tears*
I only had a few very minor hints when I was younger. My mom would force me to get my hair cut and I would cry afterwards. I didn't really know why until I got a bit older, I was so confused why I cried and why I wanted long hair. I was always jealous feeling towards girls growing up as well, again I wasn't quite sure why. Other than that I didn't really know for sure until I was about 18ish, that's when things got bad because I got extra depressed. I was scared to come out and talk about my feels for almost 4 years, once I had figured them out. Sort of how you are now I was (and still am) shy with social anxiety. Coming out helped a lot and since starting my transition I have become a bit less shy and anxious, though it didn't go away completely because that's how I am. Feeling more comfortable as who I am has certainly helped though. Also as you get older even after puberty your body still does get a bit more masculine. Not nearly as drastically as with puberty but it happens. Mostly just in the face, I think. I wouldn't rush to any decisions until you figure yourself out, if you do wait months, years, etc, you will be just as beautiful as you would had you started today
