Being transgender is "cute"??

I sympathize. I like to be thought of as cute but not over a painful and personal issue of identity.

 

They clearly misheard you. They thought you said you were going to become a box full of puppies.

To be serious for a moment, honestly I have no clue what's up with that. It's a lot better than if they had told you you're going to hell or something, but I can't quite figure out where that reaction is coming from.

 

I think it's safe to assume there are people out there who will objectify the trans(*) community. I'm sorry. I know what you mean.

 

I'm sorry but if I say a t-dude is cute, it ain't because he trans. It is because I think he really is hot as a male. Because lemme tell ya, I have seen some ugly t-boys. Seriously trans does not mean cute.

 

I want to be cute. Beautiful is good but cute is what you call a high school or college girl. I missed my youth as female... so that makes me feel good. And younger.

 

I want to be a cute guy, yes, but I don't want my transness to be objectified and treated as something that's "adorable". I honestly wouldn't know how to react.. I suppose it's better than being treated with hostility but the ignorance in an objectifying response annoys me just as much.

 

If someone did that to me, I don't think I would really consider it a compliment. I would see it as belittling my experiences. OP said it right - dysphoria isn't cute. It's awful.

 

Maybe that's because they're ignorant about gender dysphoria? I just got able to understand how much trans people suffer with this after researching about it on the internet because school really doesn't explain anything about it, in fact they usually tell us that wanting to be the opposite sex or have relationships with the same sex is wrong and all that stuff we all know so well... It'd be a lot better if they could give us more information about the LGBT community istead of letting our (usually) closed minded families teach us how wrong we are for just being us.

I'm not trans, but I felt like giving my opinion about this topic anyway.

 

i get this too. so much "you're going to be such a cute guy!" like what???? did you understand me??? i am a guy!

but yeah. i don't really know what to do in this situation. it just sucks.

 

Thanks for adding input. I agree, I don't remember being taught jack about transgender other than the vaguest description with no real explanation. They barely acknowledged the existence, much less the legitimacy, of alternative acceptable sexualities and modes of thought.

 

Well, yeah, you can't really blame people for not knowing.

It's weird, because when people say LGBT, everyone automatically thinks about gay people and sometimes bi, but almost never trans. It's like the T doesn't exist at all.

 

I think you're missing the point...


Kafei, maybe to them it's a way of showing support if they don't fully understand the experience you are going through. And maybe they are afraid to ask the tough questions because they don't know how to be sensitive/don't want to ask the wrong questions. I'd maybe give them a chance, but if they continue to refuse to see your struggle as a real one and trivialize it, it's not your job to educate them or represent the trans community.

Still, they could at least ask how you're feeling, if you wanna talk about it, offer their support, acknowledge that you've just revealed something huge... there's a ton of ways to respond that don't include the word "awww".

 

I had to explain it to my dad as he had apparently never heard or did not remember the acronym. It weirds me out how indifferent he is overall right now, since he probably (almost definitely) won't be so apathetic when I finally start transitioning openly.

 

Gender dysphoria is not fun or cute or trendy.
This is one of the few things I get really angry about.

 

I agree. This is very similar to what I'm thinking. They're confused and don't know what to say. Good intentions can turn out hurtful. They might believe it is similar to a person coming out as gay. Stupidity is the unwillingness to learn when given the opportunity. Hell, my high school taught me NOTHING about trans stuff.

Nobody says bipolar disorder is cute. They think other ignorant things instead. I'm not saying trans is a mental disorder. Bipolar is a physical condition in the brain. Trans is a physical condition of the body. It can be exhausting educating others, but I usually try my best. My mood doesn't change every minute. I'm not a serial killer! My actions are my responsibly. I expect to be prosecuted to the fullest extent possible under the law if I smuggled drugs into a country like that guy in the news that blamed mania.

Most people don't say an obvious physical disability is cute. That's interesting, isn't it? They're saying trans is cute because they cannot see the pain.

The people objectifying trans people aren't so... innocent. I've reached the conclusion that almost anything can be objectified. There's a multitude of reasons why some people objectify this or that. There's no excuse to act creepy towards trans people. A trans man is not less of a man and a trans woman is not less of a woman.

I'm just a guy that happens to be trans. I'm not a reverse trap. I also find such terms as 'sonnyboy' to be patronising. I'm a full grown man and I don't need help to navigate the 'male world'... wtf xD Objectifying me is as dangerous for a person's health as ignoring a high voltage sign. That sounds like more of a warning than intended.

 

I've been called "cute", "adorable" and a bunch of other nonsense. Those comments are based on my physical appearance, which was beyond my control and therefore got nothing to do with my own efforts to become a better person, I mean it was just pure luck that I look like a "cute girl"... Which I never was inside.

In my experience to accept those words automatically invalidates you in front of them as a human being with a functioning, capable brain, so when someone tells me something like that, I find those words very offensive, even if I'm aware they don't mean to be offensive.

I try to keep everyone at a distance, which comes at the price of not being very friendly -at first sight/conversations. That's my way of dealing with it.

 

Maybe it's just that it's a nice morning and I'm feeling good, but the optimist in me would agree with wanderinggirl and Lawrence. I'm willing to bet that, if these are people that care about you, they mean well with the cute comments, not realizing how it can feel condescending to you. If you feel comfortable with it, maybe take them aside and speak with them about it, tell them more about what you're going through, the trials and tribulation.

In my eyes this is along similar lines to "the over compensating friend", the one who knows you're trans, and goes out of their way to bombard you and everyone else around you with gender-appropriate pronouns and nicknames, way more so than they ever do with their CIS friends of the same gender. They don't necessarily mean anything bad by it, but the way they're going about it can make you uncomfortable.

Of course, that said, if the "aww, that's adorable" stuff is coming from some disbelieving, 'yeah, whatever you say' standpoint...then yeah, they're assholes...

I'd say try explaining, and if that doesn't work, deal with that as it comes up.

 

I think I read the original post wrong.

The mere fact of being "cute" because you are trans us fetishizing someone and that's wrong and something transgender people have to and do not like dealing with.