Questioning - agender, androgynous, or just confused

I'm not sure, but it sounds like it could be either agender or androgynous. Either way you're probably some kind of genderqueer.

 

Ha! That's the same issue I'm dealing with, except gender flipped! It's nice to know that someone gets it. However, I can't say I've done much to "work it out," as that's why I recently came to empty closets. But I'm pulling for you!

I mean, it's hard to try to break free of an identity so many years in the making. But even though some of the problem lies with other people's perception of you, the most important thing you can do is to THINK POSITIVELY of your perception of yourself. Your self confidence will shine through. When the topic comes up, don't be ashamed, be proud to think differently!

...Which is all easier said than done, I know... But whatever happens, GOOD LUCK!

 

Everyone's definitions of androgynous, genderfluid, and bi-gender seem to be skewed and different. I'm not claiming that my definitions are the correct ones. But maybe I can give you some ideas.

Agender is not identifying as either gender. I don't think you're agender because you like to mix male and female traits.

Genderfluid, as I see it, is feeling like you flow between masulinity and femininity, depending on how you feel at a certain time.

Bi-gender, as I see it, is feeling like either just a male or just a female depending on the day. While genderfluid people can feel like either a male or female, or any speck on the gender spectrum between the two, I believe bi-gender usually just feel mostly male or mostly female. They can be both masculine and feminine like genderfluid people, but don't tend to flow in between as much.

Androgynous seems to me more like a adjective to describe gender expression. If you dress androgynously, you mix female and male elements into your appearance. So the other three seem more like identities to me, but androgynous seems more like a visual expression, just how males can dress femininely and females can dress masculinely; and if you dress neither feminine nor masculine, or both feminine and masculine, your gender expression is androgynous. (For some people, they dress differently than they identify. For example, a transwoman dressing androgynously. That does not invalidate her real gender, female, but her expression does not match her gender. That's normal, as well as expressing oneself in the gender they identify with, i.e. females dressing in feminine clothes.)

I hope this helps a bit. Again, I'm not saying these definitions are the "real deal," they are just how I understand it. Everyone has different ways of defining these terms and the more you hear, the more you'll know which sounds right to you.

 

- I don't think that wishing that you could express your feminine/masculine side should be a very good indicator of your gender identity since many open minded cis people(not just trans) also would like to have this freedom.

- Not feeling confortable identifying yourself as a female could be a sign that you are transgender, but then again, it really depends about how you feel when you use that label for yourself and the reason for you to be unconfortable with it. Is it because it's not part of who you are or it's the way society treats you because of that?

- Being feminine doesn't invalidate your non-binary identity. There are masculine women, feminine men and even non-androgynous agender/androgyne around the world.

- You should work out on your misogyny and homophobia if you have them, it may end up by making things more complicated for you.

- Not every trans person hate their bodies or feel trapped inside them.

- Just because you are questioning if you are non-binary or not doesn't mean you are trying to avoid being a lesbian, but you shouldn't discard this being a possibility if you're having misogynistic and/or homophobic related problems.

- Try to think about what could make you happy related to your gender issues and what you'd like to change about it, be it something about your body(which is very unlikely that you might do it), your gender expression or the way you'd like people to treat you(see you socially like a male/female/other, pronouns used for you). Don't go ahead doing something that every person that happen to identify the same gender you do. If another agender person'd like to remove their breasts to make their body look more gender neutral like, you don't also need to do that.

Sorry if I said something useless or way too confusing for you. I tried to write down everything I could think of that might help you somehow.