I've been sitting in the library all night (not my typical friday I swear). I went to the bathroom and a woman opens the door about to walk in, sees me, and then walks out. Am I reading too much into that??? What even just happened?? I mean I just got my hair cut so it's pretty short, and I'm wearing guys' slim fit jeans and a sweatshirt. But like I don't pass at all, I just probably look really gay. My look has changed so gradually I didn't really feel like there was a tipping point where I started to be read as queer more often than not; but I guess I've hit it. This happened to me one time in the Dusseldorf airport; an older woman saw me as she walked in, then clutched her pearls as she walked by into the stalls. I brushed my teeth and washed my face; and for those 5-10 minutes this lady would not come out. I didn't expect this in the city though. It's stupid, but I feel ashamed for what I'm wearing, ashamed for having my hair this short. And then I wonder why I even want to wear what I want to wear, have my hair how I want it. This morning I felt great/totally normal. Now I feel foolish, like people are looking at me. :icon_redf How do you deal with bathroom awkwardness??
I'd say don't read too much into it. If you are happy with your outfit its ok... People are watching too much tv with crime stuff... If you are aware you might say something next time... or smile... Oh by the way its full moon, people might be a bit fidgety .
Yeah, that's happened to me a couple times. It bothered me because I generally don't like offending people or making them uncomfortable, but you have to remember that it's kind of on them. If you're just washing your hands and minding your own business, it's their hang up if they find you threatening because of your hair or clothes.
It might have been that, but I also think you might be reading too much into it. I would have done exactly what that woman did, though - not because you are queer, but because I would have seen you, and that would have instantly made me uncomfortable. I don't like using the restroom when someone else is visible and can see me. Weird, but I've heard a lot of people say they feel the same way. But, other than that, you shouldn't feel ashamed ever. You are who you are, and if she has an issue with that, that's her problem. The way you were dressed is who you feel most comfortable as, and you shouldn't have to change for other people. Besides, short hair and baggy clothes don't always mean queer, just as long hair and a dress doesn't always mean straight.
You think she thought you were a guy? Or gay? What if you just smiled and said something innocuous? She'd hear your voice and friendly tone and be put at ease. "Hi. That one's out if paper."/"Go ahead, I'm finished."
Try to not think too much about how people react to your presence. Someone is going to judge us one way or another even if we conform to what society says what's acceptable or not and I don't think you should change the way you dress, you're just wearing what makes you feel comfortable and there's nothing wrong with that.
I don't know what she thought. It was just weird that someone pokes their head in, we make brief eye contact, and then they duck back out. There's no way that's NOT awkward. I didn't have time to say anything even. @jay7777 yes lets blame it on the full moon I don't know her struggles, maybe she's a werewolf and she was looking for a private place to transform? I guess I can't judge her. @kaylen, I was washing up, clearly about to be done; I didn't know people are uncomfortable in multi-stall bathrooms with other people in there! ---------- Post added 6th Sep 2014 at 01:40 PM ---------- also you're right guys, I'm just gonna do what I feel like and wear what I feel like. It's annoying though.
Hmm, I usually prefer the bathrooms empty but that's cause the handicap stalls are typically too small to allow me to shut the door! Sometimes they put em right by the entrance too....so I get zero bathroom privacy. I'd prolly do a double take if a masculine looking woman were in there but it wouldn't keep me from using the toilet, I've sorta gotten used to not having much privacy. Before I realized I was gay it occurred to me that a lesbian could walk in on me...but I shrugged it off n didn't let it bother me lol.
There might be some reasons that have nothing to do with you... perhaps she is usually there at this time and used to having the place all for herself... perhaps she prefers to wait till the room is all empty so she can be in there alone... she just might have been surprised that there is another person in there at all, given the place and time.
