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Fetish or Transman?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Estival, Sep 7, 2014.

  1. Estival

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    Alright, this is going to be a bit weird, and I'm going to be very awkward confessing this so yeah.

    I've known that I'm not-Cis for a while now, and since then it's been a toss up between Androgyne, Agender, Genderfluid, and Genderqueer. But recently...I've been considering that I may be FtM, despite only experiencing rare dysphoria. I may have settled on it if it weren't for one thing: tg fiction.

    If you're not familiar with the term, it's basically works of fiction where people are turned into the opposite gender. I happen to read such fiction - particularly ones where they are turned from a female into a male. I suppose you could say I get some sort of arousal from this. However, when I'm imagining myself in a similar situation...I don't, and I rarely think of it sexually. It's still exciting to think about - but not in the same way at all.

    It should also be noted that I'm some shade of asexual - the thought of having sex with someone, watching other people have sex with each other, or anything along those lines does not excite me, and I'm in fact kind of grossed out by it. It's only these 'genderbending' stories that get any sort of positive reaction.

    Sorry for such an awkward topic. This has been bothering me for a while, and I'd really like to figure it out so I can finally get on with my life.
     
    #1 Estival, Sep 7, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2014
  2. Nekoko

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    I think I can understand where you're coming from here. I experienced a period of considering myself bi-gender... I read a lot of tg fiction myself and the worry came up that I may just like the IDEA of being a girl more than actually becoming a girl. I think though, the reason genderbending stories appeal to you so much is because they are relatable for you, as they were/are for me. It's the kind of fantasy you can get behind, but because its fantasy and reality is harsher... It may be that when you think about yourself in the same situation you tell yourself. "But its never gonna happen so why bother getting excited about it." Which I can understand. I'm still in my early stages of transitioning, so for me, thinking about sex is fine but I probably couldn't bring myself to do it until I felt whole... You know what I mean? And I just wonder if that is anything like how you are feeling? Either way I don't personally think its just a fetish but I think that's for you to decide for yourself. It's good to ask these questions of yourself just try to stay in perspective and don't let it get you down! Stay positive! ^^
     
  3. Estival

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    Ah, thank you for replying!

    That's quite a lot like I'm feeling, I think. I guess it feels like a wish fulfillment? As in, I read those stories so I can feel like it actually happened to me? As for sex...I think I have more of the idea: I would never have sex as a woman, but I could maybe try it as a man. Though I'm pretty much asexual, so sex as a man isn't too appealing either - but more appealing than having sex as a woman? If there were a scale, the 'woman' wouldn't even be on it, and the 'man' would be at the very bottom...if that makes sense? For all I know, it could be both a fetish and wish fulfillment...And thank you! I'll try my best, even though it's been pretty hard for me lately. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Estival, Sep 7, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2014
  4. jay777

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    You might have a look at this:
    Am I Transgender or Transsexual - Teens Wonder Am I Transgender or Transsexual

    The transgender spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, to srs.
    Of course the list is not all possible options.
    It's up to you to collect further information...
    You might also for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want.

    I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision...
    There is no only one right way to do this.
    Its your choice what you want to do...
     
  5. Girishbbe

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    I am kind of worrying about the same thing. (only MtF) I read gender changing fiction and think "ya I would want that to happen to me". It's kind of fantasy I have. I am also unsure what it means. So your not the only one thinking about it at least.
     
  6. Estival

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    @jay777

    Thank you for the link - it's very helpful. I suppose I should consider a gender therapist...though I wouldn't go until I leave my parents' house.

    @Girishbbe

    That's good to hear. ^^ It's nice knowing that others also have this issue - it's a sort of validation.