"You're a tiny little thing"

(*hug*) I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know you said they'd treat it as a joke, but would your parents still accept you if you come out? Even if takes a while and a lot of work, eventually they'd believe you. I know it's hard, but just keep hanging in there! Good luck! <3

 

I'm sorry. I'd always imagined myself as a fairly feminine guy (not face-wise, but height, mannerisms, etc), so it didn't bother me as much when people told me I was tiny. I'm also pretty muscular, but no where near any of the guys. You're not alone. Do you have a therapist?

 

Hey, I'm going through the exact same thing. My suggestion is to take a look at the men around you in public. Society has this stereotype that cis men are tall and muscular and large, but in reality they're just like everyone else. They come in all shapes and sizes. Your size does not in any way determine whether or not you are a man or even masculine.
I know this advice won't cure your feelings (because I'm still going through the same thoughts as you) but keeping it in the back of my mind really helps me, so maybe it'll help you.
I have no advice on family members, unfortunately. Just know that you aren't alone. Hang in there.

 

Ha, my femininity was robbed from me. I'm a 6'1 girl... Who now loves heels after fighting wearing them so long.

Yesterday I was 6'4.

One guy said to me "now you're a girl I can really look up to."

Made me feel good on some levels. The cashier said there nothing wrong with being tall. I told her I'm wearing heels. "Even better".

Point is, I know the feeling. But just opposite.

 

My build may not be obvious from my photos but I played football (linemen) and wrestled. Nobody messed with me physically (though I was verbally taunted a lot). I wish and I'm not kidding that I could trade how we were treated. I'm sorry... (*hug*)

 

Well, I'm not a trans but I feel I can relate to some extent. I've always been called cute, adorable, and lil. I'm 4'3" and struggle to lose the "cute lil girl in a wheelchair" image. My girlfriend even calls me cute a lot, but for some reason I don't mind when she does it, maybe because with her its more of a sexy cute, as opposed to Lil cute. Anyways, just thought I'd share...

 

Hi Ray

I don't know if this helps, but I'm a very slender guy, not as strong as your average guy even, but I'm a guy, know what I mean? My body is thin but what really counts is your spirit, what you feel on the inside - and if you identify as a guy then that's what you are. Ok I'm not trans so I'm aware that I can't really advise trans folks etc, but I thought it might encourage you to know, that when I saw your avatar pic, I immediately thought 'guy'. Right away, without reading anything. The thing with your folks is that obviously they have a preconceived notion that they have not been able to shake off as yet, but in time they probably will.

 

It probably doesn't help that in media, if you aren't tall, then camera tricks get used to make you look taller to hide it. Tom Cruise is shorter than he looks. Danny DeVito is under 5' and nobody would question his masculinity.

There is the stereotype of the tall man, but there's no reason a man can't be short.

 

I used to feel guilty about saying I'm female online.

But like you said. That is what I am. I feel no guilt because there is nothing to be guilty of.

 

I have the same problem/opposite kind of!
I'm a 6'1, large shouldered, big built genderfluid physical male!

 

Napoleon was short too, and I think Frank Sinatra too...

I'm 5'2 and have a "fragile" air, and that means lots of people rushing to open the door for me and etc... Can't do much about it until I finally pass (I'm still far away from it, my checkbones and delicate jaw will betray me, also the damned voice)...

Most of the time, on the job or at the streets, they don't usually dare to treat me like "a cute little thing" because I have this way of moving, staring and looking that is definitely sending the message "Here I am, careful". I think it depends a lot of how self-assured you feel, then that is the message you are sending them, it doesn't matter you are 5'2 or 7 feet tall, if you really got something to say and you are 100% convinced of it, the others will listen.

Yes, the other guys are taller, but that doesn't mean you can't go to the gym and get some muscles, why not?

 

I am a diminutive, feminine individual. And that's perpetually being brought to my attention. I understand your frustrations.

As far as being treated how you want. Demand it, and never settle for less. I'm not saying to throw off the masks we tend to put on when we're still in the closet with people, because we wear those for a reason and sometimes we're not ready to drop them all at once. But hell, don't passively let people hug you and tell you you're pretty if it bothers you. Go for the handshake. Don't even give anyone the opportunity to go in for the hug. Do it enough times and it'll become the norm. And the beautiful thing is that you don't need excuses to make little changes in how you're perceived and treated. Why would you rather shake hands? Because you'd rather shake hands, so what? That's the only reason you need, and no one should question you.

 

I worry about the same kind of things Ray. I'm short as a woman, under five foot, so I'd be seen as a tiny man. What I try and remember though is that short men do exist. Once I'm passing nobody will have any reason to question that I'm a guy.

I'd much rather shake hands with family members too. I remember when they used to come and visit, when I was young, being forced to hug and kiss them. I couldn't stand it and remember sulking after they'd gone saying I wouldn't be forced to do that if I was a boy!

I get why you worry what your family think because I definitely do that to. I want to be stronger, to do what I'd like to without caring what anyone else will say, but I just can't. Small steps and we'll finally get there though.

 

Just another story:

I knew a girl as a teenager who later became a man. She was a shrimp, really quite short, back then but had a wicked funny personality and was wildly entertaining in the plays she performed in.
Last year (or the year before), he had a bit part on the show Modern Family. Still short but I'd say making a damn fine job of it working as a character actor - which can't be easy. Sorry can't remember his name but it was the episode where Claire was campaigning for city council.

So, guess what? It can be done.