I've just found out that there's an FtM support group within travelling distance that meets once a month. The only problem is that the next meeting is on Tuesday night and I'm not sure if I'm ready for something like that. I usually get quite nervous in situations where I don't know anyone and there's so many other complications added in here that it's kind of putting me off going. Does anyone have any experience of groups like this? I know each one will be slightly different but did you find it helpful? Because I haven't started to transition yet I'm worried that I'll seem like a fraud. Should I introduce myself as Andrew or my current, female, name? Part of me thinks I should just go for it, I don't want to waste another month, but it would be good to hear how others got on.
No two support groups will be exactly the same because the dynamics are different, but most groups I imagine would be rather accepting/helpful. I used to attend a trans group on a weekly basis, for months, until I stopped going (mainly because I lost interest/didn't really need it anymore/was far too preoccupied with school) - but I will say that I managed to make some great connections, and friends who helped me along the way when it came to my transition. I definitely took comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone, and it was nice to be exposed to a variety of people - people who were pre-hormones, people who've been on hormones for nearly five or more years, people who weren't even out yet, and people who were nearly post-everything. Yeah, I was pretty nervous at first when it came to attending. I hardly spoke during my first meeting, and it took me a good month or two to really start speaking up. Sometimes I'd skip out on meetings because I didn't feel confident enough about going, but looking back, I'm glad that I attended when I did. As nerve-wracking as it honestly was. Even if you are pre-everything, that shouldn't stop you from attending, and being treated like the guy you are. Address yourself by your current, male name, and by male pronouns (if you so desire). You are a guy - so you deserve it, and with trans groups, everyone will respect that regardless, unless if they have a huge stick up their ass, and in that case, those who mind don't matter. Considering that the group only meets once a month, it'd be worth it just to go to one, maybe two events and see whether or not it's worth the time. If not, ah, well. It'd be reassuring to see how it really is, rather than skipping out and pondering, 'Maybe I should have gone / I wonder how it would have turned out...' etc.
Thanks for that really helpful post. The logical part of me thinks you're absolutely right. Really, I've got nothing to lose and as I'm going to be travelling to get there there's virtually no chance I'll know anybody there. Think I just need to get over my fears and give it a go.
No problem. If you're worried about running into anybody, the chances are very slim, unless if you happen to know other trans people, but even then, who knows. Eh, even if it doesn't go all too well, just remember you're not obligated to continue. But I do hope it doesn't come to that.
I wish I did know someone else. Suppose that could be the huge benefit of going. Other than some nerves there really does seen like no good reason not to go. Like you say, I'll never have to see these people again if I don't want to. And thanks for the good wishes
