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What do you say?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ainsley, Sep 19, 2014.

  1. Ainsley

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Washington
    I've been questioning myself as a person since I was about eight or nine. I never questioned my sexuality till I was atleast twelve, and really about my gender till fourteen. For the past two and a half years, when I regularly think about myself I see a boy. Sometimes I'll see a girl, but that's a bit rarer. I like being mistooken as male. I'm a little sad I only turned out being 5'8 and not 5'10-6'0. I'm sad I have extremely feminine features rather than androgynous ones. I'm sad I don't have a penis.

    However, I actually don't mind being a girl at the same time. I like being feminine sometimes and want to be something of a princess, in a way. But, I'm not happy with the idea of being gender fluid; mostly because I'm picky. I just wish I could wake up and be a boy and wake up being female other days. Being "half-way" just doesn't please me. I'd do a transition if I wasn't worried about this. What do I do when I want to be female? It's just insanity for me.

    I'm sorry for all grammar and spelling mistakes. I did this on my cellphone.

    ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2014 at 08:56 PM ----------

    And when it does come to my sexuality, I have one thing to say:

    When I see myself with men, I picture myself as a man. I never think of myself as being a girl. So sometimes I think, "Do I like guys in a gay way?" I feel the same with girls. As a girl, I'm attracted to everyone, but if I feel like if I were a boy, I wouldn't be sexually attracted to women. It's just odd.