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genderqueer terminology as limiting

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ctrl alt delete, Sep 21, 2014.

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  1. ctrl alt delete

    ctrl alt delete
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    So I've been struggling with the terminology recently. I've been describing myself as queer or genderqueer and saying it means I'm somewhere in the middle. But I don't think that really fits.

    I was thinking then I could describe myself as an androgyne, but that feels like I'm trying to hard to fit myself into a box.

    I guess what's really become apparent for me is what I'm not. I'm not cisgender. I have a non binary gender. So I think from now on I'll just describe myself as non-binary.

    It feels like using these terms means that we have to see ourselves as the odd ones out. When I don't feel odd, I feel like I'm the same as everyone else. I was born with the heart of a buddha the same as everyone else. I just don't want to fit myself into these boxes any more because it feels wrong.

    I was wondering what other peoples thoughts are?
     
    #1 ctrl alt delete, Sep 21, 2014
  2. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    do whatever you need to do, really.

    if something about a word or description or label or box feels limiting or grating to you, ditch it. simple as that.

    personally I use the word genderqueer to mean: "not really a man and not really a woman and not really in-between those things either and also I'm still deciding whether gender as a whole is even helpful or based in reality, but I live in a gendered world and need a way to talk about myself so here we are..." :lol:
     
    #2 thedreamwatch, Sep 21, 2014
  3. ctrl alt delete

    ctrl alt delete
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    That's the way I would feel as well. But I guess saying genderqueer makes it seem that like I'm the odd one. I realise its a tool to get people to question gender more. Its just like I said I don't see myself as odd. I see people who don't question as odd.

    If I say genderqueer it feels likes something new, like just a new box for people to fit into. Maybe a more liberating box for people who don't identify as binary. But it doesn't say what I want which is that I don't really feel I have to fit onto a binary scale. I think the scale is rigged.
     
    #3 ctrl alt delete, Sep 21, 2014
  4. Sanna

    Sanna
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    Why do you think the scale is rigged? As for me, I consider myself to be non-binary (specifically agender). It's a rather broad umbrella, with a lot of categories falling within non-binary. Perhaps you should check out the non-binary Wiki? (Non-binary - Gender Wiki)
     
    #4 Sanna, Sep 21, 2014
  5. ctrl alt delete

    ctrl alt delete
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    i guess what i mean is the western masculine or feminine identities are so narrow that a good chunk of the population have serious trouble fitting into them. i'm not just talking about peeps on the non binary identities but even many "straight" people live with insecurity about not being masculine or feminine enough. also that's a good wiki and it helped thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #5 ctrl alt delete, Sep 22, 2014
  6. FancyGummy

    FancyGummy
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    Hell yes. As far as I'm concerned we need to separate gender and sex completely, i.e. get rid of the words "masculine" and "feminine" due to the baggage involved with them. I act one way, you act another, let's just stop saying that people "act like girls" or "act like boys" and get over ourselves.

    That's not to say there aren't a huge number of people uncomfortable with their physical anatomy, but I think these are separate issues that happen to intersect often.
     
    #6 FancyGummy, Sep 22, 2014
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