So I have to go back to my therapist tomorrow, Uuuuugh. But he asked me an interesting question that in my mind I know the answer to, but I just cant figure out how too say it. He asked me What defines a man and a woman. What are the differences, and why I dont relate as male. I know the answers in my head, but each tie I try to say it, I cant think of how to. Any help please?
No. That is something you have to tell yourself. If you share what you are thinking I'll help you elucidate but if the therapist is doing what I think they are, you need to come to this conclusion yourself. They want to see what you want to be what you are aspiring to want out of life. I'll check in later.
My problem is, I cant word anything right. Everytime I try, it just sounds stupid. And I dont want to say the wrong thing.
I'm trying but its still just so difficult to put into words. Ive never been allowed to talk about it, so it's just been thoughts, and never have I imagined actually being able to talk about it. It feels right on the tip of my tongue
So fine let me try to phrase it. What do you expect emotionally from males and females? What role in society should a male and female play? How should a male or female appear (physically, hair, clothes, colors of clothes, adornments)? Try answering that. How do you fit into those categories. My GT asked me the same thing. Would I be content "just being a male crossdresser" is a thing she asked. I'm not saying how I responded. I will later.
Thanks, that helps. I dont believe in specified gender roles. I believe that both males and females should be allowed to anything in society equally. And for the most part I feel the same about appearance. But as for myself I would feel more feminine being more dainty. A better slimmer figure, long hair and the like. But that just makes me seem like a cross dresser when I'm not. I am not a male cross dresser. I hate even being called male because I know I'm not. Dang, that was a horrible way of wording things...
Ok. My response was this. Why do I feel female? Because it is socially acceptable for females to show emotions of any kind that isn't "male machismo". I cry and am sensitive. I was told in my youth to "suck it up". That did me no good. I also love the clothing and fashion. But then I also love the general female form and aesthetic. So my desire to pass and be seen as a biologically appearing female is my reason for wanting breasts and nice hair and skin and to wear the clothes I want. Frankly it's not a crossdressing thing... otherwise a lot of us would just stop there. Also it's ok for women to be seen as powerful and to pursue both male and female callings. Just because I want to be female and consider myself one doesn't mean I want to forgo any of my traditionally male pastimes or things I enjoy. No... I DO want to embrace those as a female even. Lastly... and most importantly. I've had this feeling for a long time. I can't bury or repress it. I wish every day I was born female. You don't say something like that because you're a crossdresser. There is a case where you say "just because and I can't explain it" and that is a valid reason. Only those who live it can understand it.
Im not using many if any at all of the things you said, of course unless thats how I completely feel. I just mainly wanted ideas on how to say whats in my head. How to put it in words.
Being a man is when you "feel" like a man. Being a woman, is when you "feel" like a woman. I think that is the best that I can come up with, and the best way that I would describe it. Not sure of your time zone so this may be too late- sorry!
If y'all believe in prayer (i dont) but maybe it can help. Please pray for me if you can. Im dreading this so much
I don't believe in prayer but I'm sending positive thoughts. Maybe the struggle with concepts will help your therapist see what's going on?
