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help me out here

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by looking for me, Sep 30, 2014.

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  1. looking for me

    looking for me
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    ok so i've stated that im BI, and that i cross dress. my question is that im usually pretty comfortable being male but when i dress i usually fantisize that i am a woman with a man. and, lately, when i am not dressed i feel the same almost exclusively that i am a female or in a passive female role with a man or men when fantisizing about sex. i guess my real question is am i "further along" the trans spectrum than i thought? or am i starting to move?

    any constructive imput is appreciated.
     
    #1 looking for me, Sep 30, 2014
  2. Starfleet

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    Hi. Kinda sounds like you're somewhere like that. I've only in the last few days admitted to myself that I'm really a girl. It's big, it's a huge thing, but for me it's the right thing. :slight_smile: For me, I've always felt like a girl inside, wished I was a girl, and hated myself for what I wanted.
     
    #2 Starfleet, Sep 30, 2014
  3. Kasey

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    I know that I'm female.

    My question is how do I act sometimes. My natural inclination is towards females (cis or trans) but when I get hit on by males... i actually enjoy it. I can also see being with a guy.

    But my preference can change. I'm here at work full male form but I have no interest in men. But when I'm female... i feel more open to being with a man.

    But that's not unheard of either. It's fun when the opposite gender (or any gender) hits on you. I just get validation when guys think I'm cute.

    But sexuality and gender are not inextricably linked.

    Gay or straight doesn't dictate cis or trans.

    Focus on what gender you identify with.

    ---------- Post added 30th Sep 2014 at 01:27 PM ----------
    I hated myself for 32 years and hoped crossdressing would go away and this pervasive thought that I want to be female.

    Once I realized it's not a phase and that it doesn't go away, I recognized what it was.

    I'm a transgender female. I embrace that now.
     
    #3 Kasey, Sep 30, 2014
  4. AsheTheHuman

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    I guess a big question and a good indicator is- how do you feel about your 'boy parts'? And do you think you want breasts?
     
    #4 AsheTheHuman, Sep 30, 2014
  5. Kasey

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    You may not hate your anatomy by the way, that's not a requisite for dysphoria.
     
    #5 Kasey, Sep 30, 2014
  6. Dinah

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    I completely agree with this. While I very much physically want to be and appear female, for me it's more that I want to be able to outwardly express myself the same way I feel which is essentially what gender expression and identity are I suppose.

    My male body parts I'm mostly indifferent to but I loathe seeing this 'other' person when I look in the mirror, all masculine and facial hair.
     
    #6 Dinah, Sep 30, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2014
  7. Leader233

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    Yes it appears you more along the trans spectrum and also submissive.
     
    #7 Leader233, Sep 30, 2014
  8. looking for me

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    thanks for the replys folks, keep em coming.

    Kasey, thanks for your input and your right i don't hate my male body but i see myself as femine in my fantasies if that makes any sense. you are a person who i greatly admire for your courage and your style.

    Ashthehuman, im ok with my boy parts and when i dress i use breast forms to be more competly "femine" i don't think i want to have them full time.

    Aida, gender expression and indentity are near the heart of this maybe. while i am comfortable in this body i feel "the femine of the mind" and the urge to explore and express (in private) as i make an unattractive female, in my estimation.

    Leader, i have known that i was on the trans spectrum but i am questioning if i am stationary or if i am moving. and as for submissive? maybe, i feel more passive as i have no problem speaking up for myself in and out of the bedroom as it were. even with my ex we usually ended up girl on top, not to get too graphic.

    so keep 'em coming folks this is really helpful to me.
     
    #8 looking for me, Oct 1, 2014
  9. Candace

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    You're probably in the trans spectrum, and you remind me of one person in our LGBT alliance on campus. They prefer to go by Lila on certain days (when they feel like a girl) and then Lawrence on other days (when they feel more masculine). On the days that they are Lila, they wear traditionally feminine clothes, contrast to when they are Lawrence, and wear masculine clothes.
     
    #9 Candace, Oct 1, 2014
  10. Starfleet

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    Kasey, you were a big part of my realizing what I am. (*hug*)
     
    #10 Starfleet, Oct 1, 2014
  11. Kasey

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    Hey I'm glad I inspire and guide people.

    Don't forget I might be ahead of you but I'm very far behind others. You can still be yourself. Recognition of your self and time to develop a sense of who you actually are, including mannerisms and interests you may have hidden can come to the forefront.

    I hate male fashion. I hated getting dressed. I hated anything that involved coordination. I LOVE getting dressed up and looking great. I care about how I'm perceived as female.

    I'm developing a sense of style and my own personality that isn't part of "the uniform".

    But one must not forget that despite being transgender... you are still yourself. I still have male interests. I haven't forsaken who I am. I just embrace more of myself.
     
    #11 Kasey, Oct 1, 2014
  12. Starfleet

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    Thanx Kasey. (*hug*) Yes, I agree. I still love Trek, and military history, and that stuff. I'm so happy that I am a Fangirl of my stuff now! xD
     
    #12 Starfleet, Oct 1, 2014
  13. NingyoBroken

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    Perhaps you're just a feminine crossdresser.

    You can change your outer appearance. Shave off the facial hair, grow your hair long.


    You can be feminine without being female.



    If that's not enough, and you feel you really should be female, then you are trans.
     
    #13 NingyoBroken, Oct 1, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2014
  14. looking for me

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    i really have no interest in giving up my "male" interests, i plan to shoot and bushwack till i physically can't do it anymore. i used to say i am bi leaning towards females but now maybe towards males. i can see myself with certian women but dreams and fantasies it seems to be with males more and more. i guess who ever i partner with will have to like their man in cute frillies and skirts from time to time.

    Kasey, "embracing more of myself" that's a good thought one i guess i will have to "embrace":kiss:

    Ningy, a femine cross dresser, not a bad thought either. i already do the body shave and im looking into electrylosis

    keep the advise coming folks your really helping me here.(&&&)

    ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 01:38 PM ----------

    one other thing, i don't know if i mentioned this before or not so i'll throw it out there. while i know that the type of porn that you watch does not make a good indicator of, just about anything. i watch "gay porn" and it's pretty good, but while i watch "straight porn" i often picture myself as the woman, same with "transgendered porn".:confused:

    ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 01:39 PM ----------

    one other thing, i don't know if i mentioned this before or not so i'll throw it out there. while i know that the type of porn that you watch does not make a good indicator of, just about anything. i watch "gay porn" and it's pretty good and i picture myself both top and bottom (mostly bottom), but while i watch "straight porn" i often picture myself as the woman, same with "transgendered porn".:confused:

    ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 01:41 PM ----------

    tried to do an edit to add something and got a double post, not sure what happened there :lol::dry:
     
    #14 looking for me, Oct 2, 2014
  15. looking for me

    looking for me
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    well, reckon i killed another thread, too much info i guess:icon_redf thanks folks, it has been helpful :icon_bigg
     
    #15 looking for me, Oct 3, 2014
  16. Starfleet

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    Hey, sorry. No just a busy day and busy morning. :slight_smile: Let me tell you - I watch different kinds of porn, too. But! My favorite thing to see is when the woman first gets penetrated, and when she orgasms. I want these feelings too. :slight_smile:

    And now, I can admit to my friends that I want and need these things. I feel free, now. :slight_smile:
     
    #16 Starfleet, Oct 3, 2014
  17. looking for me

    looking for me
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    no worries darlin. kinda a cross of trying to make a joke and having a crappy day:icon_wink i did worry that i put out too much information there:icon_redf
     
    #17 looking for me, Oct 3, 2014
  18. Starfleet

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    LOL - I saw the smilie. See, we aren't so terrible. I am not embarrassed to say I like to see women get their 'o' - I just want to join in! xD
     
    #18 Starfleet, Oct 3, 2014
  19. looking for me

    looking for me
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    like i said crappy day. i know it isnt terrible here, or i wouldn't stay. and yep many times i want to join in as well.
    (*hug*)
     
    #19 looking for me, Oct 3, 2014
  20. Starfleet

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    lol, I mean it isn't so terrible to envy the woman's pleasure. :slight_smile:

    no worries
     
    #20 Starfleet, Oct 3, 2014
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