I noticed something that's really confusing to me...

Ooh yeah i do it all the time, whenever i get a phone call or meet a stranger i tent to get a higher softer more sugar coated voice rather when im with people i know.

 

I do this all the time, when I'm talking to someone I don't know very well and I try to sound polite my voice automatically gets very high pitched :dry:
I need to concentrate more and stop doing it, I get voice dysphoria every time

 

I think this may be a retail wage slave/customer service thing. I notice when I'm at work and answer the phone, I sound more high pitched and feminine (in fact I must usually confuse people because I have to go by the boy name at work because I'm not out, and yet sound like a girl answering, and they constantly ask me to repeat my name). I actually wish I could figure out where my voice is when I'm answering the phone at work because I like it, and would like to sound like that 100% of the time. But I'm never thinking about analyzing it, it only occurs to me after I'm off the phone.

Anyway, I wonder if maybe we're programmed in this world, or in North America, or what have you, that when we're being more pleasant (which is pretty much mandatory when working in customer service), we speak a little more politely, a little softer, a little more..."feminine", for lack of a better term. Maybe?

 

I think everyone, even cis men, do this: tone

""The more threatened or aggressive an animal becomes, the lower and harsher its voice turns--thus, the bigger it seems"
"The softer pitch is innately "friendly," and suggests a nonaggressive, nonhostile pose."

So it seems that we're conditioned to perceive higher pitches as less aggressive, hence more polite.

If it bugs you maybe you can play with intonation; practice speaking in a low non-monotone voice, or something... enlist a friend to test it out on, or record yourself to see how the tone comes off. But yeah, generally people will always tend to view a high-pitched voice as you deferring to them, being smaller than them, being at their service; which, in customer service, is part of the job description.

I use this voice all the time, it's frustrating. Sometimes I can't lower my pitch because nervousness or tension raise my voice; but sometimes I speak in a breathier/higher pitch when thanking someone for holding a door, or when apologizing to someone, or when I'm feeling unsure about something.

 

Ok, wanderinggirl just said that all waaay better than I did...