Random question about names... I have my male name all picked out, and I really like it. Is there any way I could at some point change it legally without my family ever finding out that I changed it? They're very transphobic and absolutely HATE the idea of me being transgender (turns out they've known for a while that I was questioning). So I don't want to hurt them or let them know by having them know if I change my legal name. Maybe I'm not making much sense, so sorry if I'm not. Just curious. Thanks in advance!
Hi SamThes, I really don't know unfortunately. Hopefully someone with more knowledge will be along soon.
It'd be hard to get something like that past them I think. Possible, but very hard. However, you are NOT hurting them by changing your name. They are hurting you for holding you back. Your name is for you and no one else.
You don't list your location, and that could make a difference. If you mean a Legal name change, you can talk to an attorney. I know in this area, legal name changes are generally required to be published (a legal notice) in the local paper, and it's extremely dificult to get around that.
Some places you have to put a notice in publicly and some places you don't. The rules on getting your name changed vary from place to place. When I got my name changed it was simple as going to the court, making an appointment, filling in the proper paperwork and asking the judge. The reason they do the public notice is to prevent fraud or people assuming another identity for dubious reasons. Unfortunately this makes it harder for someone who is going through the transitioning process. That said, as an adult you have every right to change your name without your parent's permission or consent. Only you can decide whether keeping your family happy or doing what you need to do to be you is safest or best. I can't advise on that. I would imagine it would be hard to hide something like that from them.
it would be hard to hide long term but if your not living at home it shouldn't be too terribly hard to start with. if you have a separate permanent address listed then you wont have to deal with them accidentally getting mail with your new name. The problem is that you have to change all your legal documents and inform insurance companies etc so eventually it will get out. That being said you are a legal adult. If you are financially independent then it is something you should be able to do for you with or without their support. I understand how hard it is to be living full time with your birthname still your legal name, just balance which is harder to deal with day to day, being outed and misgendered whenever you are required to use your ID or legal name or potentially dealing with the anger from your parents. Not an easy one when you have unsupportive parents. (*hug*)
Like the people before me, it is published here if you get your name changed. However, if your family lives in a different area, or does not check the paper, I do not believe that would be an issue. I have my own questions to add to this: How hard is it to get your name changed? And how much does it cost, if anything?
Pain. In. The. Ass... I've been wanting to change my name but there is a lot of stuff you gotta go through. It all depends state to state. Depends on the family on how they will take it. One side of my family condemns it but they condemn me for being gay. My parents while hurt the name they chose isn't working out they understand and what to help and support me.
Would it have been easier if it were not for you family? I live alone, and they live by the philosophy of just leaving me alone and letting me do with my life what I want. They also were told years ago I was changing my name. I'm sorry your family is having a hard time with it, but it's good that your parents are trying to be supportive.
