Hi I have the body of the girl, but feel like a guy. I know what you're thinking, "Oh she's trans. That's ok" but the thing is, I can't find anyone exactly like me anywhere. I feel like a boy, but at the same time sometimes I wish I could wear a dress or have long hair without people being like "Typical girl". Why can't I be a boy who sometimes wears girl stuff? It would all be so much easier if I was born a boy... :bang:
But I don't always wear girl stuff. I like it sometimes but I can't do it without getting the point across that I'm a guy
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/153243-androgynous-something-else.html#3
Exactly what Hexagon says, there are no rules in this. Guys can like girl stuff too. BUT if you say you are trans but prefer to use a female name, female pronouns, female toilets, female clothes, makeup, etc.etc.etc. I'd think you aren't really trans tbh. But in your case you CLEARLY state you FEEL like a guy but also just like to wear female clothes and have long hair, and that is ok. You could also be genderqueer, androgynous or bigender, or be a femme ftm guy, whatever makes you happy. I know a genderqueer guy who still uses his male name and pronouns and doesn't want to transition (he hates his body one moment and loves it the other, so transitioning wouldn't change anything for him). He often dresses femininely and uses make up when he feels like it, not trying to look like a girl or be a girl but just be in touch with his feminine side, and that's fine. Just be whatever makes you happy!
I guess you're right... It would be a lot easier to come out in future if people could guess by my appearance though
Absolutely be a boyl who wears girls stuff. Only you limit yourself by allowing others to define YOU!
Well, YOU decide how much you care about how other people see you. What is more important for you? Being seen as a "normal" (ftm) guy, or being yourself and maybe being seen as female a few times? Many guys are only getting comfortable with their feminine sides after transition, and even though I'd never start to be someone I'm not, I have also made sacrifices to appear more male, because those sacrifices were the least of two evils at the time (and still are) Maybe you can find a middle way? Or just explain everyone what you feel, that you DO feel like a guy but also like to be feminine, and that being feminine =/= being a girl. The people that don't understand aren't worth you in their life anyway.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a boy who wears girly stuff. The only limits for gender expression are what you feel comfortable with. Being feminine =/=being a girl, just like WhiteRaven said. And while yes, it would be easier to come out in the future if people could guess by appearance, but is it more important for people to be able to tell, or is it more important for you to feel good about yourself and your appearance? I know I'm reiterating a lot of what WhiteRaven said, but it really does come down to that. Do you want to appear more "male" and have people guess your gender, or do you want to rock long hair or a dress and just be you? Personally, I'm a little on the effeminate side, and I definitely choose the latter. I'd rather wear my sparkly blue nail polish and get odd looks for it than dress like some kind of dudebro-esque guy just to have people know my gender.
Although I am biologically female, I always feel embarrassed wearing girly stuff in public, but on the inside I know I actually like it and I want to wear it. I guess you're right, I should just shut up and do stuff for myself and not give a toss what everyone else thinks :lol:
WHO says you CANT wear "boy stuff"?????? Women/girls have been wearing "boys/mens" clothes since the 1940's. Even today, women can dress in mens clothes and nobody even notices, but yet....a man still cannot wear a dress or skirt and blouse without being labeled "weirdo", "freak", "fag", "homo"......even if he isn't any of those things. If you are born female, you have a LOT more fashion leeway than men do......even in the 21st century. You wanna dress in jeans, Tshirt, and boat shoes? Go ahead. You can dress how you feel. If you wanna dress like Barbie one day, and Ken the next......then go for it!
I'm a trans guy who wears some "feminine" clothing. I also have a friend who is also a trans guy, and wears "feminine" clothing (including Gothic Lolita!) I know of many many cis males who wear such clothes as well, including dresses and makeup. Gender does not equal fashion. If you feel male, and you want to have a male body, then you are trans If you feel female, but just want to wear guys clothing sometimes, you are a cis girl. And if you feel male one day, and female another.. You are probably genderfluid. Ask yourself this: do you feel comfortable being called a woman, or a girl? If so, you are most likely not trans.
I hate being called a girl and there are sometimes where I have to stop myself from getting really emotional about it when I hear someone call me "She, Her, Sister, Daughter ect.." And I HATE my body. I find it really hard to look at some parts.
Yup, that sounds like you are trans to me. I would just make VERY clear to everyone that being feminine has nothing to do with being a girl, and that you DO hate your body and DO hate being adressed as a girl regardless. I just recently saw a video on Buzzfeed regarding a transguy who does not try to pass, a story that is rarely heard in our comunity but yet exists and is just as valid. Maybe interesting for you to watch? This is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX3yYkkEulY
You're welcome! I liked it too. I personally am a "classic" ftm, going to transition n all, more andro than macho but not femme at all, etc. but I think we should start to acknowledge and support our gender-norm-fucking bros as well. There are still quite some people raising eyebrows to people like him, and you, but gladly acceptance is starting to rise. Rock on dude!
