In today's world, I feel like there are so many terms to describe people in the LGBT world. And I feel like I'm constantly learning new terms to describe new groups of people. So, now that I'm here, I don't really know who I am or who I want to be. So, here's my story. I'm a guy, and I've been bi-sexual since I was in high school. Thanks to having some support by a best friend I was able to accept that about me and soon I had pride towards who I was. But then when I moved out to college I realized something else. I wasn't looking at the guys anymore, rather I was looking at the girls. What confused me though is what I thought about as I looked upon them. When I saw a girl that caught my attention, I found myself thinking more about her outfit than her physical appearance. I'd wonder what it'd be like to wear the dress she's in, or how much more fun it would be if I was a girl. In the past year I've looked into crossdressing, and I really like it even though I'm still really knew at it and have only done it in private, because I know I have to hide it from everyone who knows the real me. I find myself wishing I could live two lives, my real life and a life where I'm a girl. I feel like my girl life would be so much better and I'd be a lot happier, but at the same time I know I could never get rid of my boy life, as I could never sever the ties that I have to it. What do you think? Who am I? Am I bisexual? Transgender female? Just a weird kid who likes cross dressing? I'm really confused.
Well, the first thing you should now is that although they are often lumped together, your sexuality and gender are two entirely different things. Anyways, I'm a trans girl. Of course you can't sever every tie with your boy life. That's near impossible. I still love video games.If that has't changed through my mental transition to girl, it never will. you can take those ties with you if you do decide you're trans. Um. Do you have any questions? It seems to me you know you're bisexual. But I'm not quite sure what your gender is.
Well, by severing the ties I don't mean stuff like my videogaming habits and such. What I mean is that I can't sever the ties of my boy social life. I have friends and family and a job with people who know me as a guy. I don't think I can just be like "Hey, I'm a girl now." to them.
I can't say for sure if you are trans or just wanting to crossdress. It's something you generally have to figure out for yourself in the end. You could try a few of these questions. Do you ever get really sad or depressed because of your feelings or is it just sort of an urge to wear women's clothing? Do you dislike your genitals? (That one isn't necessarily true for all trans people but it is for most I think) I guess those are the only two questions I could really think of to help you figure it out a bit more. I totally know what you mean telling everyone you know that you are a girl now. It is such a nerve wracking thing to do! Perhaps you could look into therapists (especially one who specializes in gender identity or at least LGBT type issues). I hope I helped at least a little bit. If you ever need to talk feel free to send me a wall message
That's something I'm still figuring out how explain myself honestly. You'll probably lose some people if you do come out to them as a girl, but it's possible. Go slow. Answer questions. Retain your composition if people sart calling you names. It's difficult but not impossible. Like I said, something I'm trying to figure out myself, but I do know other users who have been able to do just that.
I've definitely felt a lot of anxiety and sometimes depression about who I am, but more over who I'm not, and have wished that I wasn't in my body. Although I can't really say I've ever felt a dislike of my genitals. While I do wish that my body was more feminine I can't say that I look down upon my own body, I just wish it was different. If that makes sense...
I guess this is why I'm really confused about who I am. I want to be a girl really badly but I don't want to get rid of who I am now,
It's totally possible to be trans and like or be content with your genitals! It's also confusing too because you don't have to get rid of who you are now to be a girl. I mean some things will change for sure but you are still you. That's usually the confusing part to people, it was to my parents. It's something that is really weird because it feels like you have to drastically change but in reality it isn't like you change every single thing about you. You'll still like video games, the same movies, music and food. It's kind of hard to explain I guess :s
Well, I know that I don't have to change my personality. I'm sure that once I was in a girl's body I could easily be myself. The thing is that my boy life is all around me, school, work and friends who know boy me. It's like I need a second life for me as a girl, so I can keep me as a boy but still be able to be me as a girl when I want. Which is why I don't know if I'm a crossdresser or maybe something closer to transgender.
Oh that changes things a little bit. Maybe you are genderfluid or bigender, something like that. I am not really too familiar with those labels but if you feel comfortable as a boy but still wish you could be a girl sometimes I think that sounds more matching than transgender.
Hmm, I suppose you're right in that regard. Well, you deserve a thank you for helping me with this. At least now I can properly label myself, and can use that to get the proper support.
The point of transition is not to change your personality, but to change how people perceive WHO you really are. Same as if you fall somewhere outside of the "normal" sexuality binary. It's about accepting yourself and being accepted truthfully and being able to be happy in that space.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/150966-androgyne-identity.html#14 The transgender spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, etc. Of course the list is not all possible options. It's up to you to collect further information... You might for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want. I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision... and it can be fun to explore...
