So I finally got up the guts to ask my sister to call me by the right pronouns/name... And though she took it well when I told her I was questioning my gender a while back and has generally been supportive, she automatically assumed I was joking when I asked. I have no idea how to respond to this. I'm not exactly a gutsy person irl in the first place, so even bringing it up was kinda big for me, and being treated like that simple request was a joke was more painful than I would have thought. But that's not the point. I guess what I'm asking is how can I convince her that I'm not joking? That this is really what I want and who I am? She's probably the only family member I thought would take me seriously, and if she doesn't, I don't know how I can expect anybody else to. :help:
As I see it there's no quick or easy answer other than "Tell her". Next time she messes up a pronoun just act like she should know better and correct or chastize her. If she still thinks it's a joke after that she might have issues. Or if you're the rude vindictive type you can reverse pronouns back to her and see how she feels, but I don't recommend that seeing as it is a petty and passive aggressive way to prove a point and that's likely not yet necessary. Just chat, think of it as bravery practice!
It's always good to build trust among you two. My brother and I have always been in a very fairly similar position like you and your sister. Sorta. We always used to talk things out, I eventually told him I was bisexual and it gets to the point where the in-depth emotional conversations you have aren't such a strain anymore. It simply becomes a hesitant conversation where it's ok to tell. Of course, we talked to each other a lot over the years, but in your wonderful case Just basically sit down with her and talk to her. Pour out to her, tell her that' you'd like to be referred to by the proper pronouns and that it is not a joke. Emphasize that. This is not a joke. If she doesn't understand it at that point, try maybe once or twice, give her time if you must, but there might come a point when it's going to be her issue, and her sole issue alone, and that's not your problem.
I was in a similar situation with my own sister. Talking it out really helps once things are crystal clear. Hopefully everything will go well.
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'm going to sit her down and try talking to her about it again. I'm kinda scared that she'll react badly when she realizes I wasn't joking, but... it's better to give it another shot than to let it stay like this.
Well its your choice what you say... You might have a look at this: https://sait.usc.edu/lgbt/files/PFLAG Coming Out As Trans.pdf http://www.tsroadmap.com/early/GenVar.pdf You might in general think about counseling... for example with a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want... You know the people involved best... so its your choice... I personally would show them the first page of the two page brochure and the second brochure...
My brother is questioning if I know what I want. He hasn't seen me as female but... i feel you brother.
Well I managed to talk to my sister about it again, and though she at first gave me one of the most confused looks I've ever seen from her, she said she would "watch her words." I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a little bit nuts now that I've gotten it across to her that I'm serious, but... It's definitely a step in the right direction, and it's a better reaction than I'd hoped for.
