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Why you didn't think you were trans at first

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by laut, Oct 10, 2014.

  1. laut

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    I just came across this thread about the reasons people didn't realise they were gay or bi.

    This made me think about the 'trans narrative' of being a 4 year old saying 'i'mma grow up to be a mummy' or 'I'm not a girl!'

    For me that really was not my story. I hated 'girl coded' things: pink, being short, dresses, dolls. I thought girl was something you had to be, not wanted to be, that everyone called 'girl' felt that way.. if you'd asked me before the age of even 16 I'd have been like 'i'm a girl, of course'.

    I didn't know there were any options than male or female.. or even really that being trans was even a thing.

    Why didn't you guys and girls and nb's realise?
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    Adding, I was raised and told that I was a girl.
     
  3. DoriaN

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    I guess for me the overall concept seemed alien. I always knew I wanted to be a girl or dress like one or be perceived as one, heck even for fun just 'disguise' as one, but it seemed like some sort of pipe dream not including the fear of such. The notion of people being legitimately transgender never occurred, and as I saw such examples in movies and the like I became interested. I was fascinated with those who bended the gender curve, they almost became my heroes. Which is funny because I didn't know why. I had a natural desire to witness or study those who cross dressed and crossed genders, I was fascinated and wasn't sure why.
    A lot of it was denial, over both my sexuality and identity. Taking that with shame, and almost duty; I repressed the urges and figured I could cope. Time went on, I started getting more desperate, then it'd started clicking that I might be trans and that I might not have a choice much longer... One way or the other...
    Even seeing my psychiatrist for the first time I was apprehensive, which basically forced me to wait an excrutiating 9 more months to transition. It's funny, as soon as I started the process, even though casually, it was like a rollercoaster. I went from being unsure/scared/in denial, to adamant/sure/desperate/necessary.

    It was rough. I'm betterish now.
     
  4. NingyoBroken

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    Because I was a bit feminine as a child. I dressed like a girl and sometimes even played with girl's toys.
     
  5. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I didn't know as a kid, and I was pretty much taught that trans people were rare, like "oh yeah they exist but that's so rare YOU couldn't be like that"

    like it was never presented as an option

    I had a lot of confusion too but I never put it all together and realized what it was about
     
  6. Tai

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    I'm still not 100% sure I'm trans, but for now, I would say that I was in the same situation as you. I thought all girls felt like me, and that none of them were actually happy with themselves. But when I started researching trans issues, a great realization came over me that cis girls actually like being girly (most of them) and referred to as girls. They enjoyed being girls. That was a great day because I thought I had found an answer to what I was feeling, at last.
     
  7. Frodofox

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    It was just easier for me to say I was cis.
     
  8. tone

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    I always thought being trans meant you felt like a man in a woman's body or vice versa and then you just got a sex change. I never really even thought of it as an option. Then I discovered non-binary genders and realized I definitely wasn't a girl, and then as I found more and more stuff out I accepted it. At first I went through a really big stage of denial where I was like 'being cis is easier and I refuse to think about this, I'm just going to suck it up and be a girl' that didn't work out very well.

    I think what did it for me was there was a question somewhere that said: If you got a million dollars would you have the body of the opposite sex forever and always be called those pronouns, etc? I was like 'totally, that sounds awesome, a million dollars!' And it said that most cis people wouldn't because it would be too hard to not have their body match up with their mind. So then I was pretty sure I wasn't cis...
     
  9. Oddish

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    I didn't know anything about transitioning as a child. I grew up as a tomboy, and apparently, that was enough, even though intuition told me otherwise.
     
  10. darkcomesoon

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    I didn't realize there were any choices other than male and female, and male didn't feel right to me, so I didn't even consider the idea that I might be anything but female.

    Plus, especially in middle school, I dressed pretty girly. I didn't realize I could make my appearance work for me. I didn't realize there was any way I could look that would actually make me feel good about myself, so I just dressed to fit in. And I didn't realize there was anything wrong with the way I was feeling...
     
  11. RayXxx

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    I didn't know about trans people and never really thought about my gender much. I knew I really hated being a girl at times, and for a while while in high school, I seemed normal. But I had something more than an extreme feminist attitude, which I didn't realize at the time. Turned out to be my hatred of being female and being stuck in a body that really wasn't me.
     
  12. FireSmoke

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    I have always thought: what the hell I have to dress like a female child? I am not a travestite...
     
  13. IS92

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    I believed for the longest time that sex= gender, and I'd never heard anything that would make me think differently. The fact that I have always been kind of feminine in my interests also didn't help.
     
  14. Raatox

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    I had a very clear picture of what transguys was like: butch, fat and "lesbian". I was non of this and hence not trans. And also,my dysphoria isn't so severe and I didn't recognize the "feeling as if one is born in the wrong body" . And I actually thought I was going to feel like a girl when I grew up...
     
  15. thesonoferik

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    Thats how I felt about being male. I've always hated male culture, male activities, etc. I've never had any interest in them. Even as a kid I played with the girls in the neighborhood and was more into make believe and dress up than trucks and whatnot. I played with a lot of "action figures", but lets be honest... they were dolls.

    I'm still just coming to terms with labeling myself as trans, but I've wanted to be a girl since at least 11 years old. Maybe earlier, but I don't have any concrete memories of such a desire. I never considered the term trans, or really gave the idea of transitioning any thought. It was mostly day dreaming about being female, or praying that I'd wake up female. I sort of attributed it to an extreme curiosity about the opposite sex, and kinda assumed everyone else felt that way. Trans was the "feel like a woman trapped in a man's body", but that statement never really resonated with me, even though it is kinda accurate. I don't feel trapped I feel more like I'm in disguise.