So how come someone can be visibly wearing a packer, binding, wearing male clothing, have a masculine face, and STILL fucking be called 'ma'am' out on the street? I've been passing fairly well for the most part. But it seems like the past couple days, people have been doing nothing but ma'aming me. I had some homeless guy shout and I didn't say ANYTHING to him, call me 'ma'am' and ask me for spare change when I passed by. It's been really demoralizing, putting so much time and effort into presenting as myself and still not everyone sees me for the real me. Sometimes, I'll pass but the moment I open my mouth, people begin to ma'am and she me... I was actually feeling pretty good about myself up until a couple days ago. Boyfriend keeps telling me not to feed into being misgendered and he sees me as a handsome male but I'm not feeling it right now. It's been a while since I've felt dysphoric but today was the first day in a while I had trouble looking at photographs of myself or in the mirror. I already hate speaking to people. I've gotten better at approaching people and trying to be more confident but it seems like something always sends me back to square one. I guess I should be lucky since I otherwise pass okay, even though I look like a fourteen year old half the time... But damn it, why can't I just get to the point where I'm passing 100% of the time? And the only people who misgender me are drunk or tired/not paying attention? Well, there's my rant for today.
No. So that might be part of it. I'm not going to be able to get on hormones for another few months but that's because I'm going to be moving in December and I'd rather wait until I got settled in. Seriously though, I don't get it.
I think it's possible it's a large part of the reason. I wonder if it's that people think it's ruder to assume someone is a kid, so they go for the option that makes more sense if you're an adult (i.e. woman). Does that make sense?
Yeah, but that doesn't make sense to me. I'm a college student and honestly, I'd much rather somebody thought I was a high school freshman and some pedophile's wet dream versus a freaking woman. I'm not a woman. Like, Jesus. How many women wear freaking packers or binders? Is it really that hard to ask someone what they are instead of just assuming if they're really that confused?
I don't think most people know it's ok to ask. Maybe you could be really blunt, and they go 'ma'am' just reply with 'sir.' and then if they go 'huh' go 'it's sir/I'm a sir'?
you are not alone, it happened to me too and much worse, i already have a deep voice and peach fuzz, but because of a stupid tshirt i was misgendered as a female unless I open my mouth. you don't have to feel bad about it. just they think because you are too good looking they wil say you are "butch lesbian" hope you pass next time.
