choosing your name, learning, community/being part of something, educating people (maybe?) but also it's an experience that not many people experience, so that can be kind of cool too I guess.
Not really in my opinion either, but as it is something I have to try to live with, I have to befriend it and thus I want to find the positive aspects.
Honestly? I can't think of a single thing but I would love to hear if people can tell us some positives
- probably you are a more thoughtful person than average - you might be able to understand male and female positions better than average cheer up folks and look to the bright side... enjoy the roses along the way... (&&&)(&&&)
Generally speaking I am pretty optimistic, but being trans often feels like a labyrinth void of light. I know for me personally I build massive emotional floodgates to hide behind because having to live through trickery, misdirection, and deception is like being forced to stab everyone you love in the back on a daily basis. But I guess there is a beauty to it. I feel like as a transgender individual I have gone through some intensive self discovery that most people probably can't even comprehend. I feel like for many of us there is an individual inside, behind all of the walls that took years to build, that is worth fighting for. I can say that I know who I am, even if my exterior doesn't quite agree with my interior. Being able to perceive the world from a new perspective adds certain social aspects to conversations that no one else could quite touch on. I'm sure that this massive burden that we were all given has made us more skilled at perceiving humanity in the world around us. Noticing the beauty of actions for their meaning as opposed to only seeing their final outcome. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and I'd say that the negative far out ways the positive. I struggle with depression, anxiety, dysphoria, and overall just low self-esteem everyday. I've felt trapped inside of a cage with bars coated in Greek Fire. I don't fit the stereotypical girly girl. I am a girl with the ability to see the solutions to problems that are seemingly invisible to those around her. I program for a living with guys constantly around me throughout everyday. I work at a company that can fire me at any time for any reason. Yet somehow I have found hope in the knowledge that what I feel within, the person that I know I am, past all of the walls, all of the excuses, and all of the lies, is a person that is worth showing the world. And if the world doesn't like me for who I am, than the world is missing out on an amazing person. I'm not going to say that being transgender is a gift. But growing up in a family that will surely disown me, inside of a city that will view me as an outcast, has taught me that maybe that is where the best in society are. The social outcasts, the misfits, the people who don't quite fit in, because society can't deal with how much we can truly shine. You know, sometimes you just have one of those days. Sometimes the world can actually be seen as a beautiful place, and the horrors that happen every second of every day, are lost in the shadows. I wrote a poem about the meaning of the word "love." I may hate the way I was born. I may hate many aspects of my body. Hell, I may even hate the fact that I, of all people, just "had" to be transgender. But the rest of myself, the extremely large piece of myself that I have hidden for years from people. I can at least say I love that part of myself, because that part of myself, is who I am, and who I really want to be. Here is the poem that I wrote: I know what it's like to feel unloved by everyone and everything. I understand the pain. But realize that there are people on these forums that will love anyone of you, without judgement, because they can understand you. They can be there to pull you up. They can be there to comfort you when all you feel is emptiness. I know that you can't touch those on the forums, much less hug them. But someday, there will be someone there. A friend, a loved one, a lover, a child, or even a stranger that will love you unconditionally. That is the beauty of being transgender. Being able to experience the world in such a way that only the most amazing people the world has to offer, stick around. The only question left to ask is, are we ready to keep them around, are we ready to let them stick with us, or are we going to push them away? (*hug*)
Being trans is not an easy path. There is a lot of bad stuff that gets thrown our way. One positive that I have gotten out of it is perspective. I have experienced so many things from different angles. It has made me a person who has so many complexities that are not initially apparent.
I don't really think there's any positives to being trans necessarily; similar to saying having depression is a blessing... But, I am happy that there's ways to go about transitioning, as difficult as it is. But, with the struggles I've endured, I've met some of the most genuine, amazing people who helped me along the way; people I probably would have never encountered hadn't I gone down this path. And it's certainly made me a much more educated, empathetic person. But we all have our struggles. It's just very shitty that the cons outweigh the pros. I'm tired of discrimination, dysphoria that never seems to cease, people thinking they're entitled to police what I happen to do to my body and target me based on my biological sex; never feeling absolutely 'complete' or 'whole.' Even if trans medicine advances greatly for years to come, I still feel robbed of what I should have had. But, I'm not alone. At all. And I've learned how to be a more patient, and thankful person, considering I've had to make due with what I have.
I'm trying to think of something positive.... I guess having Gender Euphoria when you be yourself ? At least in my experience, whenever I get called my preferred name or called she or her, I get a jolt of happiness.
It took me a long time to come to grips with being trans, and then even more to come to value it and have it become something I love about myself. It is hard to articulate specific positives, but here's the important thing to me personally: if you offered me a pill that would take it all away instantly I would not be tempted even for a second to take it. My gender therapist asked me this very question this week and I didn't hesitate. It's not that I believe that being trans somehow confers benefits or positive qualities on a person, but I believe the struggles, and trials, and work I have put into dealing with this have fundamentally shaped me and that I am a better, more compassionate, more complete person because of them. They are me, it is me, it can not be separated from me, I am less without it - I can not help but be in some way thankful to be trans. It certainly has made my life more difficult, but I wouldn't be me without it, and at this point in my life, I am happy to be me - warts and all. I'm sorry, that probably wasn't a whole lot of help was it? Perhaps the takeaway is that it is possible to make friends with it, even if you have trouble articulating why. Peace be with you.
Well if you look at my avatar/profile pic you will see one incredibly happy girl. I don't give a shit I'm trans anymore. I like me for who I am.
I have yet to meet anyone who really cares about me and accepts me for who I am. I have lived 26 years without ever knowing how that would actually feel. Yes, my family care about me in their own way but only as their 'daughter'. It pains me that the only people who I can rely on for support (healthcare professionals) are there for me because that is what they are paid to do. I fear that this will always be the case and I know I should be thankful but somehow it just isn't enough.
I completely understand. I hadn't met anyone that really made it clear that they care for me for who I am and are fully accepting until extremely recently. Sure there are loads of things they can't fully understand because they aren't in my situation. But the same applies to me, they've had a rough life too. Anyway, as far as my family goes, I honestly feel very "unsafe" and "insecure" living with them because they've made their opinions very clear. Don't feel bad about not feeling thankful, you are literally in a position where life handed you one of the shortest sticks it could find. Feeling thankful is not something I do best, I'm actually god awful at. And as far as healthcare professionals go... I know the feeling, but there isn't much we can do about it. What it honestly comes down to is self reliance. The only person whose intentions you can really know are your own, so the person that you should truly be able to rely on and trust is yourself. As much as I need to feel cared for by others, I don't think I'd still be alive if I had stopped caring about what is important to me. On a day to day basis life just tends to suck... but it does have its moments. Those are the moments that keep me going when it seems pointless to continue. I don't know what you've been through, and I wish I could reach through this screen in front of me and put my hand in yours, look into your eyes, and give you the reassurance you need to know that I fully believe that someday you will be able to know and feel like someone really does care about you, and fully accept you for who you are.
when I am called by my preferred name and am being perceived as male, I am ridiculously happy. If I were cisgender I might take being male for granted, but because I'm seen as someone I'm not most of the time it makes me more grateful when I am seen as male. I'd say that's positive.
