First things first: I identify as a physically male pre-hrt/pre-op transgender pan-romantic lesbian. Meaning I'm male on the outside, but I've always felt more comfortable and more at home doing stereotypically female activities (basically, transgender). I'm mainly attracted to females, although I have had a good number of male crushes throughout my life (all the way back to first grade, though I never thought anything of it). Anyway, I joined this group so that hopefully I can give and receive help, as living as a physically male teen girl is perhaps the most painful thing I will ever go through (as I'm sure many of you understand). I do have a significant other, who is gender fluid though physically female, and I'll refer to him as "he" because he's currently feeling masculine. He's been my only support for the last 7 months since I first realized I'm transgender, and I must say that this has been a rough past 7 months... my dysphoria has driven me to self-harm, though I discarded the main tool of that, and I haven't done that in several months... but sometimes, my femininity really shines through, and I'm so happy and I just want to try all the dresses and wear my hair this way and that way, and I want my boyfriend to wrap his arm around my waist, and lean my head on his shoulder, and ahhh I'm getting carried away... Anyway (again), my big problem (pun intended) is my height... I'm 6'5" at 17, and still growing at a decent pace. In case it doesn't click, that's not exactly normal for a teenage girl. I just need to know some ways that some of my similarly tall transfriends cope with it, or any dysphoria in general. It's so hard, knowing that I'll have to wait at least 5 more years until I can transition, but my boyfriend keeps assuring me that it'll be worth the wait... but at the same time, I get random people in and outside of my family telling me how much of a freak I am, and to be honest... I've accepted that... I am a freak... I feel so out of place everywhere I go, I just don't ever want to go anywhere. My family wonders why I'm so reclusive, but it's mainly because I don't want to subject myself to the taunting and mockery that normal-size people give me... so I try to shut myself up in my room all day and talk to my boyfriend when I can... he's the only reason why I keep fighting, and he makes me feel so beautiful... I just want to be with him, because he understands, accepts, and loves me for who I am. Even though he's 5'7" (again, physically female), he never has a problem with my height, and promises to help protect me from everyone and everything that could be a challenge for me. He's my guardian angel... I love him... basically, I would just like some help coping with everything, because my boyfriend can't always be here for me when I'm in the depths of my despair. I don't know what do to feel better about my height or my non-feminine body... any help would be greatly appreciated... please... :icon_sad: I know this was rather long... but it felt good to get this out there...
I cannot quite relate to the height problem, I mean I feel tall but I am not as tall as you. I guess it is all relative. You said you feel really happy when your feminine side shines through. Perhaps if you aren't already you could do things in private to help yourself feel more feminine. Perhaps try makeup. A good idea may even be buying yourself some panties or whatever women's underwear you'd prefer and wear that. It's especially good because no one really sees your underwear so it's something you don't have to hide at all really. I totally understand the body issues. You could perhaps try doing some butt/leg enhancing exercises. I mean sure you may be a little tall for a woman, but you will have some long sexy legs to show off eventually! There are some positives to having height! Dysphoria can be hard to deal with and finding ways to cope may be tough especially because different things work for different people. Something my brother told me to do when I am sad (not necessarily for dysphoria but still works for me for it) is to think of three things I am grateful to have. Just stop all your thinking and focus really hard on three things at that time you are grateful to have. Even thinking about how I have a house and food has helped me feel better sometimes. Hopefully that might help, I know it sounds silly, I thought it did but I gave it an honest try and sometimes I do find it really helps. It will all get better! I know it's cliche but things become cliche for a reason
