Going back in the closet and informing people

It might be helpful to include a full explanation of what it means to be trans in the letter as if the reader had never heard of it before. This is a sample letter that someone sent me. I'm not really anywhere ready to use it myself, but it seems to cover the "this is what you need to know to understand what I'm trying to tell you" part pretty well.

"Dear *Person *
I would like to inform you all of something important that is happening in my life. Over the past year or so I have been intensely exploring who I am.
I have gender identity disorder meaning I was born with a male body, but I have a female gender identity. It's something I've dealt with for as long as I can remember, mostly by trying to it was not there. Growing up was hard enough, but I also had to deal with growing up in a way that felt completely and utterly wrong. I pretended that I really was a guy from skin to soul, and actually ended up doing a pretty good job of it, for the most part. I made some friends and even had a few girlfriends, granted one of them dumped me for not being enough of a boyfriend. But it all felt hollow to me. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw a strangers face and not my own. Whenever I tried to have a relationship my gender issues kept getting in the way. I felt like I was living a stunted existence.
Something had to break, and in April of 2006, I finally admitted to myself that continuing to run from the fact would only make things worse. Of course, by acknowledging that, I had just cast my entire future into doubt. How was being transgender going to affect my family? What about my friends? My job prospects? I didn't have any answers at first, but after months of late night conversations with my friends, I finally laid most of my fears to rest. With their support I decided that the only way for me to be at peace with myself was to transition from male to female.
To understand transgender people, you need to understand the concept of gender identity. It is an unfamiliar term to most people because itís something that the vast majority of people never have to think about. The gender between your ears is the same as the one on your birth certificate, and thatís that. For transpeople, things are not so simple. Thereís a disconnect between the way that we see ourselves and the role weíre expected to play by society. When we inevitably end up acting in like ëtomboysí or ësissies,í we end up getting ostracized by our peers. To make things even worse, during puberty we end up changing in ways that make us feel like our own body is betraying us.
Thankfully there is a way for a transpeople to live reasonably normal lives: transition. Itís a process that tends to get glossed over by the media as ëgetting a sex change,í equating the surgery at the end to the process itself, but this not only trivializes the experience, it misses the point. Transpeople do not just go out and ëget a sex change,í as if they were getting a facelift or a boob job. Transition is an extremely long process, with a duration measured in years. Typically, transition begins with seeing a psychotherapist for an extended period followed by hormone replacement therapy, allowing the transitioner to gradually slip into the gender role they identify with. Think of it as a second puberty, only this time with professional supervision. Itís usually only after someone has been living in their desired gender role for a year or more that they opt for sex reassignment surgery. And even then, many people don't get it done, either because they don't see it as necessary, or because they can't afford it.
I've been in transition since the spring of 2006. I have been seeing a therapist since October of 2006 and have been taking female hormones for several months now. The physical changes that have occurred have been striking, to me anyways. My skin has softened, my body fat has shifted into more typically feminine locations, and my face has taken on a more feminine shape. But far more subtle and far more satisfying have been the psychological changes. I feel freer and much more relaxed now. For the first 21 years of my life, it was as if I had to filter out everything about me that was not masculine in order to fit in. It took a lot of the color and spontaneity out of life. But now I'm starting to get rid of the filter, and finally meet the world on my own terms.
So since I will be transitioning to female I will also be changing my name to Lilly Alexander ~LastName~. So, I would appreciate it if, from now on, you would call me Lilly and use feminine pronouns when referring to me. If you slip up, it's no big deal; I will just give you a little reminder. The wrong pronoun can end up outing me in some instances, though, so I do ask that you make an effort. I know, it will be a little weird at first. I am still the same person, though. Just think of all this as a new take on an old friend.
And now it's time for me to step off my soapbox. If you have any questions that I haven't covered in this letter, please, don't hesitate to ask. And one more thing: thank you. While not everyone was in the loop over the last year, my relationships with all of you have still been a huge source of strength and support for me.
It really is amazing. Life is just so good now, and it gets better with each passing day."

 

You might have a look at this:
http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf

They talk of it having biological causes. meaning its not just a whim ...
What I do not like is on page 7 talking about stress... this is not what all people have experienced, and some experience relief...

and this, if you have not already:
https://sait.usc.edu/lgbt/files/PFLAG Coming Out As Trans.pdf

(*hug*)