1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I wish I could feel 'ready'

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by laut, Oct 21, 2014.

  1. laut

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2013
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cardiff
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm so close to coming out to my parents about being genderfluid. It's a pain not being out, it's 'use they, except with..' etc. It's just.. hassle. I want to be able to 100% live as me.

    I'm just worried. For context, my dad has been physically abusive, and is so strict about gender roles, he won't wear a wedding ring because 'men don't wear jewelry'. So obvious that's a biiiiig worry. He's much stricter with male gender roles though, and they've always let me be whatever kind of girl I wanted to be.

    I think my mum would accept it. She'd be confused, but I'd be more important to her than any transphobia (unless I am grossly mistaken).

    It feels like if I wait till I am 'ready' I will be waiting forever, you know?
     
  2. lion12

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2014
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel the same about coming out as bi/gay to my mom. I feel like if I will never be fully ready because there will always be some fear. But I think that you've reached a point where you feel like not being out is more of a pain than dealing with coming out could be?
    It's not the exact same situation, but I just wanted to wish you luck and say that I hope things will go well. I'm sorry about you dad. Maybe you could start by coming out to your mother? It could be easier if you're alone with her and you could answer her questions. Then when you've talked to her and you feel supported, you could talk to your dad.
    I wish you the best of luck! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Michael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    2,602
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    ... It's the first time in my life I hear such an excuse for not wearing the wedding ring :rolle:

    Wish you the best for your coming out. Don't get too upset if your dad doesn't get it, be ready for that.