Not really questioning, but... wondering?

Hi everyone, I'm nori (for now). I've basically been in some kind of gender purgatory since... Well, probably forever, but I've actually been thinking about it since... eighth grade, I guess? So for five years now. I'm clear on what I am now - which is DFAB, trans male. I was really stressed out for a couple years (about a year ago and before) about my gender. I was trying to pass as male for most of my junior year in high school, but something about it felt boring to me - which ended up being the fashion. I got kind of distracted by my boyfriend, who was my best friend at the time, and I just kind of gave up on passing in favor of cute, femme clothing and not being unable to breathe because I was binding with a friggin' belt... which brings me to my point: I know I'm male, dysphoria leaves no doubt about that - and I do really wish I had a male body. More than anything.
I want to start T therapy as soon as I can, and I will get top surgery, and I'm still considering the rest but it's sorta likely. The thing is that I'm still very into femme fashion, and so I'm likely going to end up dressing "in drag" sometimes even after and during my transition, in addition to just wearing skirts over pants and maybe makeup most days. So I'm wondering if that'll make other people in the community and, more importantly, my eventual counselors and/or doctors, take me less seriously. I've spent so long wondering and researching and wishing already that I don't want to halt the process for myself just by dressing a certain way and being who I am. So, any thoughts?

 

that's true! thanks for pointing that out. i just feel almost guilty sometimes on days when i still go out wearing my favorite dress and bright red lipstick :eusa_doh: but that's true. and i guess really, as far as counselors go, i don't need to tell them about my dress addiction.

 

i think i will, thans for your input! of course, i'll probably be sure to dress totally masculine when i go see my doctors, once i start that, just in case... but otherwise i'll wear whatever i please~