I've thought about this so much. Last Sunday night, I was laying in bed thinking that I should come out while it's the weekend. I told myself that it was way too late and that it was already practically Monday. My mom probably wasn't even still awake. So all this week it's been in the back of my mind to come out this weekend. My mom doesn't have work tomorrow(Saturday), so I might tell her. I'm very nervous, as can be expected, but especially because of a discussion we recently had. We talked about LGBT stuff and I explained some stuff to her. She could tell I was super passionate about it and I told her I didn't know why (instead of taking the opportunity to come out, I lied). However, it's getting harder and harder to keep it hidden and my birthday is coming up. That would be a great time to ask for new guy clothes. I'm dreading her crying. I know she'll do it because she's over emotional. She always says how lucky and grateful she is to have a girl, so that's been weighing on me. It's also getting to the point, I mentioned this in another post, that I can't just use sports bras anymore. I need an actual binder. My chest dysphoria is increasing. I'm so unbelievably scared, but I think it's the right move. This is the first step in figuring out who I am. Any advice on coming out would be super appreciated. Should I write her a note and let her read it out loud, should I say it too her, should I show her a video? I am completely lost on how to approach this. :help:
I plan on letting my mother know in person. All I know is that I know who I am, and I'm just going to tell her. However I don't depend on her for anything, so however she reacts she'll eventual have to accept it. I guess I'm making this assumption based on her having no power over me? Like maybe a parent feels like they can correct you when you're under their roof. But good luck!!!
I asked her what she thought of gender stuff and she really doesn't understand anything about it. She, unknowingly, said some trans phobic stuff and got really weirded out. At the end, she wouldn't even let me explain some things to her.
She's always been super supportive, so I'm pretty sure she'll accept it quickly. I'm actually kind of excited. I'll make a post as soon as I can about it.
I like the letter route. I'm terrible at speaking when I'm scared or nervous. I tend to 'um' & 'ah' and look away and drop my head, all of which I think generally seems to take away from the strength and confidence of anything I have to say, especially with coming out, making it seem like I'm unsure about what I'm talking about when my nervousness always comes from wondering how the other person will react. With written letters, I can take the time to say what I need to say without stuttering, and in a more eloquent manner.
I'm working myself up to telling my parents, face to face, some time in the next week or two. They spend most of their time staying at my house with me and my daughter (who already knows). They're in their late 70s, and I hate to do anything that will be upsetting-- but it would be even more upsetting if they found out indirectly rather than direct from me. Which is all just to say: good luck to us all!
My mother thought the letter was a suicide note, so be careful with that one. Don't fret about the fact she's glad you were born a female; my mother used to love to talk about how all the girl thought I was so cute and I'd be a stud and all that, but was very accepting and not even a little upset (after she learned it wasn't a suicide note. It didn't even sound suicidal, damn it.). My suggestion is baby steps, but you're well on your way already it seems. I know its hard, but you just got to make that final push. Good luck. I think things will turn out great for you.
