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How is gender dysphoria different from, say anorexia?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by skizze, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. skizze

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    I have been feeling uncomfortable with the femaleness of my body for some time now, and as I also have some self-esteem issues, I am confused if what I have is actual gender dysphoria or some discontent that would be fixed if I just learn to accept myself. For example, a person may develop anorexia in an attempt to emulate the body of an admired celebrity. I feel that my "dysphoria" may be something similar, that it is caused by my excessive admiration of the body of the opposite sex rather than it stemming from an identity issue. Or is it a different problem by the very fact that my ideal body is the opposite sex?

    I am just confused all around, especially because my dysphoria isn't as strong as other trans people's seem to be. And I don't know whether I was dysphoric first or was gender-confused first, or if the order even matters. I can't even formulate a specific question, but I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this topic.
     
  2. jay777

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  3. anonym

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    I understand your confusion. I sometimes feel that way myself.

    I may be wrong but I'd imagine some social dysphoria would have to be there as well if you're transgender. Forgetting your dysphoria about your physical body for a moment, do you feel uncomfortable with female pronouns for example, or in gendered spaces like public bathrooms. Would you rather be perceived as male or something else non-binary rather than female?
     
  4. MN Writer

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    Overcoming gender dysphoria is an act of accepting one's self, just so you know. I am accepting that I am a female on the inside and that while my body is currently very male (and uncomfortable to me), it doesn't have to be that way and it is okay for it to look like it does for the time being.

    What you described above sounds very typical in transgender people (transgender as an umbrella label can mean many different things, including androgynous and gender fluid). I have always looked at women and felt jealous that they could look like they do and I couldn't. It wasn't until I had a very vivid dream that I was a woman, and felt unmistakable positive feelings of finally being at harmony with my physical form, that I realized and accepted that I was transgender (MtF).

    perhaps you should ask yourself this question: if you could go to sleep and wake up in a completely male body in the morning, would you do it? How would you feel in that situation? Do you think your discomfort with your physical form would completely disappear, or would you have a whole new kind of discomfort?

    I know those questions seem simplistic, but if you are able to honestly answer them (not worrying at all about what anyone else would think or say), you will have a better idea if your discomfort is with being the wrong gender, or just a disliking of your current body proportions.

    Because I'm not androgynous or gender fluid, I cannot say what those are like, so what I wrote above might not be helpful. If it isn't helpful, it might be worth reading "My Gender Workbook" by Kate Barnstein (you can buy a used copy off amazon for like $5 or you can read the first 30 pages or so on google books). It has some really good content and tests to help you understand where you are as far as gender.

    Also, I highly suggest finding a therapist who specializes in gender dysphoria (if possible). They will help you explore your feelings in ways you may not be able to on your own.

    good luck, love.
     
  5. skizze

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    I do feel uncomfortable being called a "she" or "daughter", and I have taken to feeling a bit awkward in locker rooms. But the thing is, I don't know if I'm not deluding myself -- did I not develop these feelings unnaturally after thinking too hard about them? Maybe I became uncomfortable with my femininity in the same way that a word that has been repeated too often loses its meaning.

    Yes, I would do it, and I have often wished I could try on a male body. But I don't think I can honestly answer whether my current discomfort with my physical form would completely disappear. I don't think I will get a different set of discomfort, and I can't exactly imagine any negative emotions with having a male body, but then my imagination is pretty limited and I tend to only think positive thoughts.

    I did think about seeing a gender therapist, but unfortunately that won't be possible for at least two years. Unless I talk to my parents, and that I'm very reluctant to do, because they won't understand or take my problem seriously, especially with my level of confusion and uncertainty I have myself. I will try out the Gender Workbook you recommended though; hopefully I can find myself a free pdf version.

    Thank you all for your counsels. They make me feel that perhaps my feelings aren't ridiculous after all.
     
  6. jay777

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  7. skizze

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