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Can the way I feel change?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by TrueHeartZ, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. TrueHeartZ

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    I am biologically female but have felt male since I was 13. I thought it was just a phase, but I am 19 now and still feel this way. I do not want to be trans but I think back at how depressed I was when my body started to develop. I try to become more feminine to try and change myself but when I do I become more depressed. I want so badly to change. I want to meet the right guy and have kids. Is it possible that this feeling will go away after time?
     
  2. jay777

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    You might have a look at this:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156584-am-i-actually.html#5

    You might talk this through with a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center... what are really your wishes and what you perceive from others... there might even be ways to fulfill both, if you really want that... even adoption might be a possibility, or a spouse who happens to have already kids...

    (*hug*)
     
  3. DoriaN

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    No one will be able to give you a definite answer, it's something we all have to come to terms with.

    Yeah, it really sucks, I mean, who WANTS to be trans? If we could be we'd all be cis, but since we have to play with the hand we're dealt this is what we choose.

    Think of yourself when you're older, how do you feel? Can you imagine yourself as a grandma? Grandpa?

    I mean, I doubt your feelings will ever fully go away, at best many of us can suppress it for lengths of time, but even long term Christians who wrestle with transgenderism never truly have the feeling go away. Maybe one odd case out of a pool.

    For myself, I had trouble seeing the end of the road keeping content. Sure, I could struggle in some areas and shrug off others, but I would always be bitter. I had to try. I was apprehensive at first, but then it felt so right, and while I wish I was cis; I'm thankful to be trans.


    Sorry if I'm rambling, but brace for the fact it may never go away, but also be aware that if it does, what choices did you make? Do you know why you feel this way? Can you help it?

    If you can talk to someone about it, don't get pressured one way or the other, transitioning can be a nightmare and a blessing. In my experience regardless of everything those who transitioned for the most part were happy about it.

    For myself I just feel I had a birth defect, and my condition is no different from someone disabled. We might both get stared at, might both feel out of place at times, but we have a heart the same as any other and our weakness is on the surface. How many hide their insecurites and issues? We wear ours like a badge.

    If you want, try being more masculine instead. Nothing too drastic, just simple stuff, if you like it keep testing the waters. No pressure, no rush, have fun!
     
  4. TrueHeartZ

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    Somethings I should have mentioned in my first post.

    For as long as I can remember. I did not have issues with my body until I started to develop breast and learned about sex. After that with each passing year I've become more depressed as my body began to change. I kept wishing my breasts would go away and everything that was feminine about me would disappear. Now that I have full developed into a women I am so depressed I don't even want to move anymore.

    I am still attracted to men and also women. However, the idea of having sex the way a woman is supposed to have sex makes me sick to my stomach. I cant even stand the idea of it. However, the idea of being with a man in other sexually ways does not make me feel this way. I am thinking if I a m still attracted to guys maybe that is a sign that I am mint to stay female.

    The main reason I want to change is for my mom. She supports LGBT people and there rights, but I have talked to her about characters on TV who are trans and somethings she had said made me know she would never except me if I went through with this. There isn't a doubt in my mind she would act like she supported me, but I know she would be so disappointed in me and be disgusted with me. I have lost so many family members and people I thought cared about me over stupid stuff like money and not doing the things they wanted me to do. I know if I did this I would loose the only family I have left.
     
  5. jay777

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    Gender:
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    You do not have to do this alone... you might talk this through with a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center...
    and you might build some community, on EC, for example... you might take part, and possibly become a full member, being able to chat and exchange private messages... for now you can post on the walls of all members...
    people often have preconceived ideas from tv, which might be far from reality... there are really good interviews with people stating their opinions...
    and nowadays some people say it might also have biological causes, developed before birth.. of course with various stages.... so parents might not be so concerned about possible faults in their upbringing...