I tried and I tried to come out, but it never seemed like a good time. I've only been calling myself trans for a short time and I am worried I might be trying to come out too early. It's so hard to realize what is too early because it's excruciating trying to hide what sex I appear as. Today my mom wanted to go out shopping and I agreed for some reason. It's so hard deciding what to wear around her, although it's all psychological. She's so supportive and never comments on what I wear. Anyways, I wore a pretty masculine outfit (at least I thought it was). I didn't even pass even though I kept my mouth shut! I've never felt so helpless. I have social anxiety that I thought I had gotten control over, but today proved me wrong. I felt like I had butterflies all over my body. I was also tense every time I moved. My mom kept picking up a shirt or skirt and saying how cute it was or trying to see if I liked it. I finally told her "Hey, I would like a men's sweater because the neck is more closed than on a woman's sweater". It worked and she gravitated to the men's sweaters. However, it's not just a sweater I want. It's everything clothes related. She even commented on my clothes today and said I have a closet full of clothes, but I only wear the same things. I told her it's because I only feel comfortable in certain things. She said nothing back. I was hoping she would so I could come out then. My birthday is coming up this week and my mom agreed to take me clothes shopping. A day or so before my birthday I HAVE to come out. I'm absolutely holding myself to it. I have to get it out because I almost had a panic attack in a store today. My mom was walking away to look at a skirt and I just stood there, starting to hyperventilate. I thought I was going to lose it. The sentence: "I can't hide it" kept running through my head. I think I've dropped enough hints that something is wrong. I came home from school one day really dysphoric and my mom followed me to ask what was wrong. I told her I didn't want to discuss it then. She hasn't brought it up since.
Don't try to push yourself to come out if you don't feel ready, but I feel like your mom has probably realized something is up so it will come up at some point. My mom was like that too, even with the comment about only wearing a few things that I owned. Does your mom support LGBT people? It sounds like she's pretty accepting of you wearing masculine clothes so hopefully she'll be accepting of this. Good luck
Thank you. I know my mom is very supportive of the sexuality part of the LGBT community, but we've never really discussed gender. I have been trying to bring up conversations on trans people though. She is also accepting of me wearing what I want, but I think she thinks it's just my "style". My dad is actually working with a trans woman right now and I couldn't have expressed more joy over that fact. I think that's pretty self explanatory, but its up to them to get it. My dad has been really good with her, so I think he'll be pretty accepting. He even told a guy he works with to knock it off when he was making fun of her. The only thing bad about coming out is keeping it from spreading like wild fire around my family. My parents are really the only ones who need to know as of now. I know it's going to have to happen eventually, but I am too scared to go further.
