Sorry, but could someone explain to me, in detail, just what transgender means? And what it means to identify as the opposite gender? I'm still not sure if I understand correctly. Is transgender about how you identify yourself? How you want to identify yourself? How you express yourself? How you want to express yourself? All of the above? I'm not sure if it is accurate to say I identify with female, to be honest... When I said I did before, I was more thinking along the lines of expression. How I want others to think of me. But then... Do I express myself as female? Well not in public. But I really wish I could. I want to look and feel like one. Want to BE one. I don't even really know why. It is not like I really understand them more then males. Actually I don't even have any female friends at the moment. And that really saddens me. I only have a couple guy friends. Though I can't say we are really all that close either. More like acquiances. And my 2 brothers. Who I am very close too. However, at my schools and such, most of the time I did prefer hanging out with the girls, even if I didn't do it much. I was kinda nervous too. Most of the time at my schools all the guys hung out together and all the girls hung out together. I never felt like I fit in. Although, that is not to say I always fit in with the girls either... I don't usually think of myself as a "girl in boy's body" as most people seem say when referring to transgender. (Or vice versa) but that is because I really don't see us as that different. Mentally. What does it mean to be "masculine" or "feminine"? That is why is why I don't understand the while " identify" thing. But, I like it when people think of me as a girl. I dunno why. That is why there were times when I went on forum sites or random chats and just said I was female. And I would be interested in cross dressing if I get a good opportunity. Very much so. But I never did. I am also interested in the idea of sex change, but I highly doubt that will happen. So when it comes to "expressing myself as female" the only way I ever did was just say I am. But I would be interested in going further with it. Sorry, this turned out longer then intended. I just really want full clarification, and I figured fully explaining myself would further help in figuring where I stand in this.
I see being trans in the same way this one Youtube described it, which is simply not identifying with what you were assigned at birth. Someone I saw for therapy used the show analogy. You wear your shoes on the wrong feet your whole life, and it seems normal to you; but something feels weird. When you notice your shoes are on the wrong feet, you switch them and things feel better and it makes more sense as to why you felt uncomfortable. For me, being male means I don't identify with the hand I was dealt in the biological pool. All things "womanly" biologically speaking make me sick and uncomfortable, especially if I'm going through it. It's dysphoria of having a big chest and feeling incomplete in other physical aspects. It's the dysphoria of having curves and a higher voice, making it harder to pass and frustrating to wonder why society doesn't see me how I see me. Being trans, for me, is feeling trapped in a box that I was thrown into with no real escape. It isn't about dressing a certain way, just being seen as who I really am.
I see. Well that is kinda true for me as well. One thing I did actually forget to stress in my initial post is that I feel a lot discomfort by my own body as well. I said I would prefer a woman's body, well it is because this one does make me uncomfortable a lot of the time. Especially my legs and face. I almost never wear shorts in public. No matter how hot it is. And well... The thing between my legs. It is a little uncomfortable. I hate it. ---------- Post added 6th Nov 2014 at 05:46 PM ---------- Upon re reading my initial post. I said "I don't even know why" but yeah my last post kinda explained why I want to be a woman. But I was more referring to why I want others to see me as female. Why I enjoyed speaking to others who actually thought I was. (Even if I felt guilty lieing) why I love playing games with a female protonist and sort of "being" her. I guess it is for the same reason? Because it is the closest I can get to being a girl? I guess that question kinda stupid. ---------- Post added 6th Nov 2014 at 05:55 PM ---------- Yeah the reason i didnt say that stuff first is cause i said it before on the this site, so i wanted to focuss on the stuff i didnt mention. But i meant to at least bring it up, lol. Cause i know not everyone would have read my other posts, lol. Oh well.
I just have to check back one more time and say... This is so embarrasing. As someone who is generally proud of my ability to write about myself and my feelings. I feel like I did a really sloppy job here. And now I want to edit it! Lol. I really want people to understand how I feel and help figure out just where I stand here. And whether I am telling the truth when I say "trans female" I know some of you might say "why does that matter? It is just a label" well it just does. But from I what I understand... Yes I'm pretty certain now that I am. Sorry for this huge wall of text and rambles...
All the rambling helped clear up some questions I've been having. From the not wearing shorts ever, to the chat rooms, right down to the name were very similar. You said your waiting for a good opportunity to cross dress which (if your like me) feels like it will never come. If you can get some skinny jeans, it's a great way to feel more feminine in everyday life.
You might have a look at this: Am I Transgender or Transsexual - Teens Wonder Am I Transgender or Transsexual and this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anony.../147192-transitioning-where-do-i-start.html#4 The tg spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, etc. Of course the list is not all possible options. It's up to you to collect further information... You might also for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want. I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision... There is no only one right way to do this, and it can be fun along the way. Its your choice what you want to do...
Oh really? I see. Well if you want to talk to someone with similar experiences as you, feel free to talk to me anytime. I may not have many answers, but it is nice to at least talk to someone you relate to right? ---------- Post added 7th Nov 2014 at 12:43 PM ---------- Thanks! But why is it geared primarily toward teens? Would that info really be different depending on age? Well even if it is. I am not long past my teenage years anyway...
I understand this feeling completely. I have good friends of both sexes, and I don't see the sexes as being worlds apart. Hell, I don't even see myself as being entirely masculine. But when people think of me as a boy...that just feels right for some reason. More right than being seen as a girl. It isn't that I see myself as a boy in a girl's body - I really feel like neither, I just don't feel strongly gendered. I guess identlty is about how you feel. It's not always easy to describe - some people might be able to say with more certainty that they are one gender or another. All I know is that living as a full time, 100% female individual doesn't feel right to me. It isn't that I'm so masculine, and need a boy's body to match - because again, I just personally don't see the sexes as being as far apart as everyone always says they are - but I do feel wrong, my body feels wrong, and being seen as a boy is more comfortable for me. If you like being seen as a girl, if that feels right for you, then that's right for you. It doesn't have to be a case of mountains of dysphoria, or of full-time female presentation up to this point, or anything like that. You can be trans and not appear at all to be your target gender, because it isn't about what surgeries or hormones you've had or how you dress when you leave the house, although most trans people pursue these things eventually. The expression I think tends to happen over time. Just because you haven't tried presenting as a girl, that doesn't invalidate your identity!
Cool! Great post. I don't particular have a response... I just felt the need to clarify that I did see it, like it, and understand. I wanted to just click a "like" button but that doesn't exist here, lol. So yeah. Like!
