Caution: Bit lengthy This is something I have been thinking about for a really long time, because of how I feel about my body and my sex. Originally, I thought androgyne was a good term, not requiring to fit either end of the spectrum as an explanation for how I feel, but in the end, I find myself doubting the accuracy of that. I experience really awful dysphoria, and struggle with severe body image issues - I envy males, their bodies, everything except for one thing - I have zero bottom dysphoria. Absolutely no issues with my primary sex characteristic, but everything else I loathe. I honestly wish on first glance people saw 'male' before they saw 'female.' So, I suppose, would that make me a transguy? Or is continuing to work under the umbrella of 'non-binary' more fitting? I suppose it's how I identify, but I don't know if it's okay to consider myself trans when, while I wish everything else about me was male, I have absolutely no desire for sex reassignment surgery or even male genitalia.
For myself I didn't care about having a male member, so much as having a bulge. To me genitals were just tools, so that's how I viewed it; just /there/. But the bulge or lump or any indication something was there gave me issues. So much so that while having a male member is w/e, the dysphoria of having it perceived or seen is great enough for me to get SRS. That and my ideal female image is fully feminine, and thus cannot contain something categorically masculine. Androgynous or neuter? Sure. So idk, how would you feel if something /was/ there? I mean at the end of it, it probably does not mean much, but it's something to consider. Also, trans itself is a broad term, not all transmen have or necessarily want/need male genitalia, it can actually be impractical for some. Don't try to label yourself too hard, just be honest and explore various possibilities. Where do you see yourself in the future? Could you handle others calling you mom, or legally and socially addressing you as a default female? Would you be comfortable with others assuming you have a vagina? If my questions are too invasive I apologize, they are more so to promote thought rather than actually receive an answer.
Yeah I think we r transguy just like u,I wish I had male body parts but its ok, I am not going under knife to get it.
I personally don't have too much bottom dysphoria. I get it sometimes, but not very much. You don't have to have it to identify as male.
I feel the same as you and I define myself as Androgyne with a manly brain. Define myself as FtM or transguy is a simple manner to make the others understand. But it isn't correct. Because, at least for me, I don't see my body as a "prison" nor I feel "trapped in a wrong body". I feel like being born female is a richness, not a shortage. Do you feel the same?
Ahhhh yes, whereas I often feel trapped in my FAAB status and female body. I am pretty sure I'm an FTM, by the way, though I only recently realized it.
These were some really good questions, and I thought about it for quite some time, even though the answers seemed to readily come to mind. Yes, I do mind that immediately people identify me as female, and use 'she/her' pronouns. That is what originally lead me to believe I was non-binary, and pursue that label. That second question took longer to think about. I do not want children, so being either a mother or a father sort of... disturbs me. I wouldn't want it to matter to my children, in the end. I always thought, growing up, if I did change my mind, I would want them to refer to me by my name like I did with my father. The last question - no. If something was there, but if I was masculine in appearance, it would not bother me in the slightest. It's just something that's there, like you said, that I have no issue with. The lack of buldge doesn't bother me, but my body does. I thought answering these, even though they are more for thought would help organize how I feel about myself, and put my thoughts into words. Also, thank you for responding, and having your own personal situation in it. I really appreciate the time you took, and the depth of your response. I don't mind that I was born female, but I would have been preferred to have been born male. It's not that I mind my sex, it's everything that comes with it - the breasts, the curves, and the soft features that bugs me. I am never jealous of another woman, but men? All the time. I feel trapped by how feminine I look, and how I am constantly perceived as female. I hate that.
@OP Whatever your gender is, it's not defined by your genitals. Many trans men and trans women don't get bottom dysphoria, and that doesn't make them any less men or women. Same goes for non-binary people. If you end up understanding yourself as a man, a woman, both, or neither, if you don't feel dysphoria about what's between your legs, that doesn't mean for a second that it conflicts your gender identity. Do whatever pleases/is right for you, but if you don't like your soft and curvy features, I'd recommend considering ftm hrt, whether you ultimately identify as a binary trans man, non-binary trans masculine person, androgyne, or what ever else feels right. TLDR: Some men have vaginas, some non-binary trans masculine people have vaginas too... ain't nothing wrong with that *offers hugs*
Sounds pretty similar to how I feel but I don't get dysphoria very often. For me, chest binding is generally good enough to appease myself, although I am trying to (through diet) up my body's T production. Have you looked at taking T? If not, it could be an option for you. Also, I watched an interview my cousin posted on fb recently. It was about a trans couple, MtF Katie and FtM Arin. Arin says in the interview that he is fine for now with his transition even though his bottom half is still "female". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du_FdwIkzpE Something that helped me with identifying was finding out about intersex as well. Realizing that nature doesn't conform to that whole boy/girl thing, really released me from feeling like I had to fit one. Might be worth the time to look that up.
I'm not sure it's gonna help but I was also thinking if I'm not trans myself. The way I understand it, body dysphoria, hormones, or surgery itself doesn't make you necessarily FtM. I think that what makes you transguy is when you can claim to be just one of the two binary genders, a man in this case. I'm not able to do so myself, I cannot say I'm a guy because I don't truly feel that way. Also, there's obviously a difference between how I identify on the inside and how I prefer to be seen by other people. I don't see myself as a male but I feel more comfortable when people see me as one. Ideally though I'd like to be perceived without any gender at all. :icon_wink
Maybe this would help you? http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/153243-androgynous-something-else.html#3 (*hug*)
Actually, I get EXACTLY where you're coming from. I love female curves and everything... just not when they're on ME . This is just my opinion, but you seem like a fellow FTM to me. There are varying levels of dysphoria - and hey, you could always be a genderqueer/androgynous FTM, eh?
(*hug*) This actually helped a lot. I've been reading things about being transgender and the asterisk for trans* and thinking about what you wrote. In my mind, someone can be any gender regardless of their physical sex, so why would I hold myself to a different standard? I don't want male genitalia, I think even though I would want people to register me as a 'boy' and perceive me as such, perhaps calling myself a 'man' would not be entirely accurate. If gender binaries didn't exist, there wouldn't be this confusion, I suppose. It's frustrating trying to place myself, when all I know is that I dislike being perceived as a woman. I really will consider, and probably start soon hrt. Thank you. Non-binary is such a large term. But 'man' isn't. This gave me pause, lol. Like I said above, I really don't think the binary should even exist, but that would not entirely cease transsexualism. I feel jealousy over male secondary sex characteristics, but I wouldn't contribute that entirely to gender - just sex. Walking the line is a hard thing, and I wish you happiness is being perceived as without gender I know that can be really hard. Oh dear, I definitely know where your coming from. xD Males definitely aren't my cup of tea, although they make me hella jealous. Thanks everyone, really. Transgender, I feel is an extremely accurate term, the specifics not so much. Transmasculine? Demiboy? Genderqueer? These are also good terms, I feel. I suppose if I try not to push a title on myself it'll be easier, and I can just try to do what makes me happy. I think I will spend a year, like they do before you have reassignment surgery, where I will present fully as male, and carefully think about transitioning. Mostly this gigantic post was to thank everyone for helping me sort out my thoughts. You're all marvellous. (*hug*)
<3 glad you're working through this. it can be a torrential whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, but untangling one's identity and making sense of it (even if it's shifting and/or nebulous, or whatever) can be one of the best feelings in the world.
